this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
226 points (93.1% liked)

Shitty Food Porn

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I think she's a keeper

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Damn... Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

Energy efficiency. It's no crime to care about global warming 🧐

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago

The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.

But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)

You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said β€œYou still have 24 hours to change your mind”. πŸ™„

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In that case I agree, def. a keeper.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I'd assume if you care about global warming you'd also avoid eating meat. Maybe more important for beef than bacon though. Anyway, I interrupted your chewing, please continue!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Bacon abuse is a crime.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 3 weeks ago

Are you certain she likes you?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

A pig died so that she could boil a part of it into shoe leather. Then you had to eat it. The things we do for sex…

[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah πŸ™ƒ Keep'er far away from the kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 weeks ago

I hope you call your girlfriend BB from now on. Not because it is a bastardization of "Baby" but because it is short for boiled bacon.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My brain is now forever tainted with the idea that you can, and some people do, boil bacon.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

If you put a little water in the pan with cold bacon it will steam for a bit and help render out the fat before it then deep-fries in that fat. To much water and you get whatever this is.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Y'all've seriously never tried grilling your bacon in the oven? The fat just melts off and leaves your bacon perfect. If you like it crispy, just leave it in for a bit longer.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Frying both the egg and bacon would probably use much less energy and be 100 times more tasty than whatever this is.. If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

If I have to boil bacon, I might as well not eat it at all.. πŸ˜…

This gave me a sudden flash of Uncle Roger. If you boil bacon, bacon is fuckt up. Aya!

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago

Can't be, no beans.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck off. No English plate has seen bacon and eggs that grim.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Ooooh the breakfast horrors at my hotel in Paignton.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What crime did she commit against the Bacon?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm washing the pot now. It was boiled in the same pot water as the eggs. Saves electricity

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I just fry my eggs in the bacon grease, same energy, probably not as healthy but it doesn't look like a crime scene either.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

Possibly less. Boiling a pot of water takes quite a lot of energy

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

You're saving 2c and wasting bacon.... If you want to boil everything maybe pick foods that aren't depressing when boiled.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

I swear I saw the bacon move.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Did she boil the fucking bacon? Is that how it came out that way? I don't know it's weird. I mean hard-boiled eggs just do that sometimes but what the fuck. It's not hard to throw it in a frying pan. My fiance bakes it which is... Fine...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes, all cooked in the same pot at the same time as the eggs :>

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Call ICE on her. If she’s white, tell them she’s irish. They don’t count as white again, so she’ll get sent to Venezuela where she might learn something about cooking. It might be cooking meth, but that’s still preferable to whatever that atrocity in the picture is.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hmm, good old weaponized incompetence

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

Lmao that's so real, I think she boiled the bacon out of spite.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

"May your bacon always be boiled." is certainly a worthwhile curse.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It looks more pink than red to me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

That's grey/gray

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

I'd be grateful to have anyone in my life that would think to cook for me. I'd eat this without complaint and thank them.

Then, I'd offer to teach them to cook. We aren't born knowing how, it's a learned skill.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

We shall cook these items in the light of the sun. -Human girlfriend

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

Well, she's definitely not a cooker.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This was not an act of love, but rather the exact opposite

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I think you should keep her away from a kitchen

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

"Hey, why don't I cook next time?"

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