this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Shitty Food Porn

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I think she's a keeper

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Damn... Wtf did you do to piss her off that she boiled the bacon while boiling the eggs?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Energy efficiency. It's no crime to care about global warming 🧐

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

Fry it all on the same pan.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

No no no. In this case it was a crime against the memory of that pig.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I think this might be an exception...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

I'd assume if you care about global warming you'd also avoid eating meat. Maybe more important for beef than bacon though. Anyway, I interrupted your chewing, please continue!

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 days ago

The methane the pig and chicken made are worse than the gas it would take to cook them.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The amount of energy you (as a consumer) use is nominal in comparison to big corporations; especially the big corporate farms. So you might as well heat up a second pan to make the bacon, because you’re suffering unnecessarily for no gains.

But make no mistake, what I said above is in no way a negative reflection on you or your future wife.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

You’re as bad as the chauffeur, who – directly after my wedding ceremony – said β€œYou still have 24 hours to change your mind”. πŸ™„

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s my fault. I should’ve picked a different chauffeur when the first time I called them and said I was getting married, and his response was β€œoh, a standing funeral.” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oof yeah, definitely not a good start, is there a way to sound even more divorced than that?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lemme try:

"She caught me peeing in the sink. Again."

How'd i do?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Good start, but it's missing the open misogyny of a divorced boomer.

Something like "That bitch caught me peeing in the sink again."

Bonus points if you can make yourself sound divorced and incel at the same time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Ok, how about:

"She bitched about me pissing in MY sink. Again. Real sigma shit."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

Are we just ignoring the significant amount of energy it would take to get a pot of water up to a boil?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In that case I agree, def. a keeper.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I think you meant to type "in this case, it is!" but your typey sticks got a bit wayward and hit the wrong buttons. Happy to help :)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Bacon abuse is a crime.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

I'll take an extra fire tornado, to never have to see that again