this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

180 seconds (3 minutes) is a hilarious overestimation of any fighter's ability. Unless you're counting the time it takes to bleed out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Worked in Yellowstone for a summer.

Spent some time with the rangers. They got all sorts of questions...

Like which handgun caliber would be best to defend oneself from a bear.

Essentially, the ranger broke it down stating there was a weakness in the skull about the size of a bullet that you had to hit directly to have a chance of dropping a bear with a handgun. While its coming at you and pissed/hungry.

So essentially, you've just pissed off the bear before it gets it claws on you.

Well placed slugs from shotguns, rifle rounds, and preferably (according to the ranger in question) a tranquilizer to re-home the bear away from people. That being said, the bears are tracked to an extent and bears who show repeated behavior endangering themselves/tourists tend to be exterminated, sadly.

Hand to claw combat? Human is going down.

This is why in the past, when bears were hunted, they were hunted in their dens during hibernation - at the end of spears to keep that hungry bear as far away as possible from your soft easily rent flesh.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

rent flesh

Are we still doing phrasing?

[–] [email protected] 73 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Snapping out of your fantasy as you're being eaten alive is a bad move.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago

I feel like the other option is a Jacob’s Ladder experience

[–] [email protected] 54 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

They may kill SEAL with a slap but how many polar bear slaps does it take to kill members of other special forces?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 13 hours ago

That depends on the bear's tactical training, if the bear went through bootcamp then it's one slap, if the bear is also a SEAL then it's half a slap.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 18 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 17 hours ago

Here is a black bear, a grizzly, and a polar bear.

And Marcie.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 19 hours ago (4 children)

Fighting bears isn’t that common of an encounter. I’d be more worried about deer and coyotes or even a single cougar than the off chance of encountering a bear. They will definitely fuck you up but it’s not like they are starting their day to be like “Imma go murder a human” in the same way other urban-adjacent animals are—I think they just wanna get that sweet sweet pick-a-nic basket.

dies from turkey assault

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Polar bears will absolutely try to hunt you. They'll eat anything that moves. The only way to deal with a polar bear is a gun.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

The ancient drawing was by a caveman trying to convince his caveman bros that he could totally take a polar bear.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

You mean there are single cougars in your local area ? I always thought these ads were lying

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

There are enough of them that I no longer go in certain areas of the forest unless I'm armed. And I always have 2 arms on me at all times.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 15 hours ago

Maybe the targeted advertising got your location wrong?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago

Moose are not to be trifled with either. If you accidentally put yourself between mama and baby, you’re gonna have a real bad time

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[–] [email protected] 159 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Another reference, this time in 3D:

Me, 6'4" 235lb, that's a full grown and a cub 1:1 statue

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

And there was a time that humans with stone tools were like yep I can kill that

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Thats how we made it this far. Some absolute morons charge ahead and get themselves killed, while everyone else shakes their head. With some animals it works, surprisingly. Others we learn to keep away from- until the next moron feels like " hey, lets try that thing again!".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean we basically successfully hunted every animal on the planet. Wouldn't say it's fair to call them morons

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago

Nah that was their time. If you gave the average group of humans 40,000 years ago and an average group of modern day humans spears and told them to hunt a polar bear, the group from the past would be much more successful.

Obviously our technology today makes it an easier task, but I'm very impressed at what our ancestors were capable of.

Look up cave bears for a treat.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

That picture is not in 3D. Not at all.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

You have to use your 3D monocle for this one

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It would.

Off on a tangent, but relevant, I recently watched a video from a big cat trainer, and he stated that lion and tiger cubs are absolutely lethal at the age of 6 months. They can literally play with you to death.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I could take the one on the fake boulder

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Bear is black, fight back.

Bear is brown, turn around.

Bear is white, say good night.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Turn around is a bad idea

If it's brown, lie down

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Oh, I had understood that to mean lay down facedown (with your back to it) since people usually have backpacks while hiking/hunting, and it provides some measure of protection.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

I had heard it as turn around, but lie down makes much more sense.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 18 hours ago

Bear is white, say good night, and tuck it in and tell it a story. Once the bear has fallen asleep snuggle up to it, so it has a fresh morning snack.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

I remember somewhere they were saying you should remove your clothes (slowly piece by piece) with a polar bear. The bear will get distracted and start sniffing your clothes.

I think it was a QI episode and then David Mitchell said something like that Polar Bear being happier in the fact that the human would be better to eat this time because it didn't have a wrapper.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

This works because polar bears are super horny. Its desire to rend you limb from limb will be replaced by overwhelming lust. Of course then you've got a completely different issue to deal with, but at least you might not die.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 18 hours ago

That’s a myth perpetuated by the polar bears, they’re just perverts

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Also.

Some black bears are brown.

Some brown bears are black.

Good luck everyone.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Also, one of the few animals that will hunt humans for food

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

its revenge, actually. Justified at that.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 day ago

Can’t blame them. They’re running out of options.

[–] [email protected] 102 points 1 day ago (13 children)

Do not – and I really cannot stress this enough – give any of those bears cocaine

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

What kind of bear is that wearing the sunglasses?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 20 hours ago
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[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (14 children)

Fun fact: Grizzlies and Polar Bears are the same species according to the Biological Species Concept.

Meaning they interbreed in the wild (somewhat rare), and produce viable offspring that can have babies as well.

We’re actually noticing this happening more and more with climate change. As Grizzly populations move further and further north, they’re encountering polar bears more often and are more likely to mate. Some scientists actually think within the next couple centuries due to arctic sea ice pretty much disappearing polar bears will either go extinct, or interbreed with grizzlies so much that there isn’t a “pure” polar bear left. Most likely a mix of both.

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