this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I remember when these things first came out and I was super excited to try them and also the disappointment when I finally got to try them and they were just god awful.

But they're certainly not the worst lunchables. The nachos and chicken nuggets are even worse. The nachos you'd think would be fine. Just corn chips and cheese sauce. But the chips are stale and weird tasting and the cheese sauce is also not what you expect from nacho cheese. It's almost like they are trying to make kids hate junk food by making their junk food taste horrible.

The best ones are still the OGs that just have lunch meat, cheese and crackers. Not quite a fancy charcuterie board, but they also only cost about a dollar or two.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Eh, my kids love them all. But we're mean parents and hand-pack them healthy lunches for school, so they only get them occasionally as treats. My kids just started school, and today they got freshly cut fruit, rice, and some marinated beef (cooked this morning).

But they'll inevitably complain when they get home today that their friends got lunchables or the ghetto school lunch or whatever.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Let’s also add more and more sodium just to break some records.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You've got management written all over you with ideas like that.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And salt is pretty much free and makes the package feel heavier.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Salt wasn't heavy enough so they also went with lead.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

More like "what if this cost $0.05 to produce and I sold it for $3.50"?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don't lynch me but... I have to confess that I liked them that way. The greasy & salty pepperoni, the stale crackers, the mushy cheese, all of it. I'm not a picky eater. You could serve me garbage and I'd say you're a great cook.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And it beats the never ending stream of sandwiches. Pbj and co only get you through so many years.

Lunchables and dunkaroos anyday

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (4 children)

One of my kids would love having a ham and cheese every day, and whenever I send something different, they complain. Some really like what they like.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I also loved those as a kid. I didn't like cold cuts so they were the only ones I'd eat.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Don't forget to add a bit of lead for seasoning

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Allegedly lead tastes sweet so...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Exactly. For seasoning

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No joke last night I went for a late night snack. I pulled out some hard salami, aged Swiss, and some nice crackers. I realized this bastard charcuterie was just a luxury Lunchables.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I disagree. Your hasty charcuterie was just that. And I bet it was delicious.

Lunchables, on the other hand, are the cheap charcuterie knockoff devised by people who lost their tastebuds decades ago to excessive chainsmoking and the kind of world-weary ennui specific to only the most misanthropic millionaires. Their lack of any sense of smell is only eclipsed by their tenuous grasp on what's left of their zeal for life; a kind of self-hating spiral that not even the most debauchery-packed weekend in Vegas could ever hope to recover. No, these cretins are not people, they are the mere shadows, the faintest of pencil outlines of human beings. Lunchables are the best effort of these people attempting to emulate what they vaguely recall a meal actually is.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Pizza: When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. When it’s a Lunchable… admit it, you kept eating.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The lunchables seems like a dystopian food stuff created by a team of psychopaths.

What if we made all of the food crappy, added extra preservatives and maybe a little bit of lead?

The Romans added led to their drinks it must have been delicious or something! ~Kraft food scientists probably

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

At this point I wouldn't be surprised if the meeting went like this:
"So, we sell these products by their weight, why don't we add something heavy in there just to boost profits?"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Cold pizza can be amazing!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pizza it's amazing, cold pizza is still a pizza, that makes it amazing, but is still an inferior kind of amazing that hot pizza.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Morning cold pizza that you can just eat straight out of the fridge is ambrosia. It's like a third of your problems for the day have been solved.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

The crazy part to me is that it's specifically the Lunchables made for schools.

Really makes me feel like Sisco or Bon Appetit (industrial prison complex companies) are the ones producing the food, just like they do for prisons.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

As a kid though. Lunchables was the shit

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Breakfast of champions

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Anyone put the m&ms on it?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

You absolute monster

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Didn't they make one where that was the point? You even had a little sachet of chocolate sauce to spread across the dough.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Yes, some of the packs contain a 'desert' pizza that's m&ms and chocolate sauce

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I feel so attacked. I just got done eating one, and it wasn't even name brand. To be fair I'm having to live out of a motel with only a microwave and limited money

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Been there a few times. Car, too. If you can afford it, they sell hot plates/plug in coolers at Walmart. But my suggestion is a deep fryer. Not the square one, the round one. If you take the basket out, it's essentially just a large pot. You can do anything in it you'd do in a skillet, but can also boil water or make soup. They're invaluable in those situations. Depending on the size of the hotel mini fridge, you can normally get a thing of chicken leg quarters in it. That and some veggies and you can make a million different meals. Hit me up if you want any advice, I've seriously been down that road, and it's not easy, but there are some tips and tricks that make a lot more bearable.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Also living that nice limited money life? Sometimes i feel like McGyver coming up with alternative ways of doing some things.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

We're doing our best lol. If anyone has any tips for cheap microwaveable food I'm all ears

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

If you've got potatoes you just need a masher, some salt, some oil/butter, some water/milk, and a bowl. Gotta eyeball the consistency to figure out how much you need of the liquid, the rest is for taste. Cheap as hell but it'll get you fat. Peeling is optional.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Whatever, fuck you, you'll eat it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Back in the day, lunchables were the cool kid food. That and kid cuisine. Now, lunchables seem like what dumpster juices would taste like.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

its the charcuterie board for the unwashed masses

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

My brother is 33 and still loves that crap

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Inspired by ohio valley style pizza

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The idea is sound, make something easy to pick up for your kid for lunch. The execution isn't so great. For how much they charge, an entrepreneur should get on this making actual good lunches that are healthy but kids will still want to eat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I get the cheaper Armour brand ones, my kids like them better and they're half the price.

Still not healthy though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Even partially healthy would be an improvement.

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