this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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My experience on this platform has been mixed so far but one thing I've noticed the most is a significant contingent of the user base is really reactionary in their discourse.

This is a very typical exchange I have here :

User: I don't like this color because it's red.

Me: I don't know, looks more like purple to me. What about red is bad?

User: Why don't you fuck yourself in the face you fucking cuntfuck!

Me: OK...

Like, what gives? I don't have this experience on other platforms. I have arguments but never this shutdown meccanism.

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I wasn't sure what you meant, so I decided to check your profile and see if I could find some examples you responded to... And I learned a lot about you in the process. You sent a single person a lot of "why are you angry" comments. You get into a LOT of arguments on politics subreddits, and even defended Kyle Rittenhouse. You noted that you need to tell people you're left wing, because the things you say convince them you're not.

At a certain point, the reason why so see so many angry people might be that you're the one pissing them off. Or at the very least, you're seeking them out.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

[–] [email protected] -4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I could be an asshole. I won't debate that. Maybe I am.

My point isn't to claim I'm not an asshole. My point is compared to other spaces the vitriol and anger here seems ramped to 100.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I think what you're experiencing is people here being less tolerant of your assholery.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

I'm Ok with that. It seems to come up in benign comments too. Thats why I was curious. I'll own the asshole position and declare myself a loser. I'm not offended by that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I wasn't necessarily calling you an asshole, it's just a quote that represents what the other commenter was talking about.

To answer your initial question, I haven't personally noticed Lemmy being more toxic than other platforms like it. Most conversations I've had have been pleasant. But I tend to avoid commenting on hot button topics. You commented on a topic that people feel strongly about and got angry comment replies. I wouldn't say that necessarily represents the site as a whole. But both of our experiences are anecdotal so it's difficult to say which is more common.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago

I think you're right. Hot button topics are just to be avoided I guess or fare repercussion.

How can we avoid being captured by epistemic bubbles though? That's the part that scares me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

An offline friend and I have this hypothesis that usually, the further left or the further right one becomes, the more closed minded and reactionary they become when presented with an opposing idea.

It’s difficult to live in the grey and to keep an open mind. I think this has become so much harder in the era of social media.

That said, there are absolutely some core beliefs of mine that I would be highly resistant to ever budge on, so maybe you’re encountering some of those folks on theirs.

Shrug it off. Keep going. Be you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's very strange. I've been here a year now, and have noticed that it's MUCH friendlier than Reddit.

I see that others have creeped your profile, and made suggestions about not antagonizing others. I'm going to take their word and recommend you take their advice instead of arguing about how everyone else is so argumentative.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago

Thanks.

The issue is I am argumentative. I like having disagreents and most of all I like hearing different points of view. If this sounds like a vanilla take, it's because it is.

If I disagree with people on fb or insta or ask to verify the facts of an event there I will get push back or I will learn something new. I will also hear some combative words. Nothing strange.

If I ask about the facts of the matter here:

  • "blocked"

  • "troll"

  • "fuck you you cuntfuck defender of Kyle Rittenhouse. Eat dick."

  • "I have you labeled as conservative cuck"

On. And on. And on. But it's OK, because apparently asking for facts is justification to garner this, right?

What gives?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

are you on *.ml?

that's their whole game.

block .ml and most of the people deliberately picking fights should up and vanish.

i say that as very rarely experiencing what you're describing, especially compared to other social media platforms

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I would say the majority of mine have been fine and even some i thought might go off the rails had a nice back and forth where I even learned a bit. I mean I have encountered reactionary and mean stuff but does not seem super often to me. kbin meltdown sorta messed up my account thoush so I have not really got my feed going in mbin.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

That's good! Gives me hope. Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

There do seem to be a small number of people here who have no middle gears, don't there?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Challenge them and they mostly back down and come to their senses. Failing that, block them. They're so sad it's not worth your time. I imagine they live very lonely lives arguing on the internet with strangers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Self selection I assume. You need a certain mindset to go the long mile of actively being on lemmy, and that mostly overlaps with an hypercritical attitude.

Or maybe that's just me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I think some people use the internet to vent after a long day at work. I've dinner it at times and have had to stop myself from forming an unhealthy habit

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Because people are mainlining propaganda en masse and it's rotting their brains. Maybe fediverse users are more abrasive idk, but the adversarial tone in online discourse nowadays is hardly unique to the platform.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The trolls get what they deserve. Not trolling, huh? Yeah, that's what they all say.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Everyone we don't like is a troll. You're a troll. Here you go. Is that better?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Popcorn

Me waiting for someone arguing there are no angry guys here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I am SO FUCKING CALM

bet that makes you angry huh? you mad im so calim?

/s /jk

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

HOW DARE YOU TREAT THIS COMMUNITY LIKE THIS

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

You will need to block a bunch of people when you first join, or move to an instance that has already done that for you.

... or use a platform that automatically hides comments that get lots of downvotes. I looked in your posting history - the comments you remarked about being angry didn't even show up for me.

... and filter out US politics & Israel politics. You'll need an app/platform that lets you define filters, tho.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Your filter may have hidden the fact that he posts a LOT on politics, political memes, and world news, and often gets extremely downvoted for what he says.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I have nothing against down votes.

You're doing it here too sort of. Your attacking me for asking this question.

I have discussions on politics on other platforms and there is a substantial difference. That's the crux of my question. Why?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

You're doing it here too sort of. You’re attacking me for asking this question.

This is a weird response. I read the one above you that this was a reply to and no where were they “attacking” you. Maybe this is part of the problem is language? That word “attacking” is a pretty strong word considering what was actually said above which came across to me as an observation based on how they’ve seen you in threads.

This isn’t me “attacking” you either. It’s an observation from someone randomly coming across this.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago

It was intended for the other user, sorry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

If you want to know why this platform reacts differently, it's because it's smaller, so you get noticed more easily. When you act calm and composed and "just ask questions" about why a mass murderer is called a mass murderer, people are more likely to notice.

If a summary of your actions sounds like an attack, that's a problem.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So. If I understand correctly, talking about charged topics is an automatic invitation for extreme vitriolic language? I don't experience this elsewhere (if, fb) . It should be more vitriolic on fb than here... Not the other way around no?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It kind of is. When someone has an extreme emotional reaction, you should look at what they're reacting to before calling it unreasonable. Any defence of a mass murderer, no matter how civil it pretends to be, warrants an extreme backlash.

Like I said, Lemmy is smaller. People don't notice you on fb, but they notice you here.

Just how many times are you going to ignore your own role in your conversations? You are the common thread among everyone who dislikes you.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But my point isn't that people don't disagree with me. I want to find disagreement because I don't want to live in an echo chamber. I want to discuss ideas. Mi point is that the vitriol here seems stronger than other places. That's all.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Were you even responding to me? Because you disagreed with a point I didn't make and raised a point in response to my answer of that point.

Don't disagree for the sake of disagreement. The devil doesn't need an advocate.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sorry. I reread your previous comment. You make some good 'points.

I never intended to defend Kyle. And I can see why people would assume that. My messaging was very poor and I think people went straight to labeling we a Rittenhouse supporter. Given that the labeling persisted even after I clarified I'm not interested in defending Kyle. I understand it's a charged topic and the rage blinders just come on right away. That kinda makes sense.

But then how do we talk about sensitive topics at all? Do we bury our heads in the sand?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Someone made a point that, in pointing out how Kyle is a murderer, someone would come to defend him. Then you came to defend him, or at least said the exact thing someone trying to defend him would say. When people tried to brush you off, you cried about people not wanting conversations. When they corrected you, you cried about them sticking to a narrative. When they called you out for defending him, you claimed to hate him, then kept defending him. You were identical to a Rittenhouse supporter.

Why does talking about sensitive topics need a disagreement? A death in the family is a sensitive topic, but you don't need to say "I'm glad they died" to talk about it.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago

That's the issue. People conflate fact checking with defending Kyle. That's weird. It shouldn't be one on the other. Dont you agree with that at least? Is that a controversial take?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Haters gonna hate.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

There are people who is always angry about everything, not just in Lemmy but in everyday life also. Just keep you mouth shut and observe. Don't take them so serious.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Without looking into a detailed history of what you might have said that spurt it, Pay attention to the instances that it's coming from, a lot of times you will notice that those users are coming from specific instances. I noticed this as well and there's some instances that I haven't blocked fully yet but I am debating.

It is very toxic, but if you don't let it get to you it's just a simple block and move on. I don't see as much toxicity on the platform as I did a few months ago by doing this method, and there are quite a bit of people that do take the time to give constructive feedback and have a civil conversation.

My experience overall on the fediverse is overall positive.

Hidden text because is off topic from ops post >! and while this is a little off topic of your post I would also encourage people to turn off your scores(the upvote/downvote system). Most third-party clients give you the ability to do it and I have had them turned off myself basically since my second month mark. It helps remove a lot of the hive mind / populous bias/ Argumentum ad populum(this is a link it's just spoiler hides it) that occurs by being able to see the scores. Due to the fact that the system works as a whole by judging the score in the sorting system you don't lose the ability to see the more popular stuff towards the top, so really unless you care about how many people are liking your posts, there is no cons to disabling!<

[–] [email protected] -1 points 3 months ago

I think a lot of it has to do with an* impending sense of anomie. Something someone said to me once that I'd have done well to heed earlier: Don't take what people say personally, especially if they mean it personally. The idea being it's probably more about themselves than you.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago

Well adjusted people with fulfilling lives don't have a ton of time for online forums.

Lots of the residents of online spaces have been trained by algorithms that reward "hot takes" spurring lots of reactions.