The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.
He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
56 points (87.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43723 readers
1511 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
For the entire duration, he can't work out what it actually is because it's such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind
And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)
Latex fist.
A tennis ball.
Magic 8-Ball
This time Wilson can kinda sorta actually talk back.
An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.
couch cushion
This is inexplicably the best answer yet. Everyone else is working so hard to think outside the box that the box is inside-out.
Plus, now you can include a love scene.
A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don't, may their innocence last forever.
Grandma "So that's what a coconut is used for."
"I've been doing it wrong all these years"
Grandma is doing a goatse.
The severed head of a man named Wilson.
Oooh, the dead body of Owen Wilson.
Or the frustratingly unkillable body of Wade Wilson (Deadpool)
HEADPOOL!
A fleshlight.
A bowling ball. Can change some of the script so he catches it before it rolls off the raft but he falls in the water with it. He's too heavy and weak to make it back to the raft so he has to let go and watch it immediately sink or he's taken under too (also a good reference how it's hard to save someone from drowning when you're near drowning yourself). Definitely thought of a dildo first till I saw everyone else put it up though.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Coconut would be believably available on the island, and you could have a whole arc when he runs out of water and fights over killing his friend to drink the juice, like a schizophrenic episode
Plus the sexual tension.
Step-coconut what are you doing?
A 1ft tungston cube
Oh wow look at what the tides have swept ashore. A Pringles can, some rubber gloves and a few sponges.
load more comments
(1 replies)
a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he's tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.
Me. I'll play Wilson. Listen idk what the fuck that last guy was doing but my take on this character is gonna be a hit, you'll see
A dakimakura, AKA a body pillow. Needs an anime character on it, obviously.
Of coure the large breasted, scarcely dressed waifu of questionable age shall still be referred to as "Wilson"
A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it's plastic, but has already grown attached to it.
Wouldn't the object need to be something of deep importance to the individual or be a poetic representation? I always assumed the volleyball was a symbol of everything he left behind. Things like recreation no longer mattered; only survival. :shrug: but I also thought the movie sounded incredibly boring. If you want a random item, go for qualities like "awkward to carry" or "gets hot when left in the sun". Give your characters personality or force them to choose that object at a moment it's inconvenient.
- An oversized diamond/ faberge egg - it's valuable, heavy or fragile and inconvenient, in a critical moment your character may need to smash it against something risking damage
- Teddy Roxbury/furby - favorite toy growing up? Creepy voice at stalking moments? Mid point twist when the batteries die?
- Harmonica - potentially a little Disney princess forest friend vibes
- Bowling ball - Wilson prolly plays a little different when it's not feasible to take him on a raft, prevents you from climbing trees and burns precious calories transporting. Mobility is now a plot point. Decent weapon tho
- Toilet plunger/brush - everyday object that can be utilized differently, maybe adds that little bit extra reach to save the day?
Couch
Starring JD Vance
Wilson from House M.D., who, after surviving cancer, decided to retire from oncology and live as a recluse on a desert island.
Do your work for you, you say?
Or is this a hobby project?
Do your work for you, you say?
That reminds me, tomorrow I will need everyone here to proofread the latest revision of my screenplay for the "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" horror movie.
load more comments
(3 replies)
A dildo.
The corpse of Harry Potter that's slowly coming back to life
Oh wait, that movie exists already
Can I just suggest that to mix things up a bit, this one should be set on a peninsula.
Ooh, I've thought of one: a helium balloon. Imagine the tension as he occasionally forgets to hold the string!
Miss Piggy.
A furby or tickle me Elmo.
Some piece of very modern technology that floats. I think Wilson in the movie represents Hank's character's last grasp at a shred of civilization, so he holds onto it as hard as he can. My first idea was an e-ink tablet with an author's face on it, but that's a little too on the nose. Maybe it should be something that reflects how much more reliant we are on our modern conveniences than we were during the original.
Edit: Raycon earbuds. He calls them Ray and if you're lucky that might also bring in some sponsorship money
How about a pet rock?
The same volleyball, but he's imagining it and he's the only one who can see it.
view more: next โบ