this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] [email protected] 83 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Seems to be the elf is setting themselves up to receive the human's inheritance money. If they play their cards right they could pull this scam many times

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Ah, the practical problem solver.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You need to be specific about which type of elves this is.

If we're talking LotR, elves are immortal.
If we're talking 40k, Eldrad is 10,000+ years old.
If we're talking WoW, it's a couple thousand years.
If we're talking D&D, elves live like 750 years.
If we're talking Shadowrun, Elves lit's all over the place.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Also immortal. And hypersexual.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

All that sugar.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Damn it, I knew I should've invested years of my life into cookie lore for a brand not sold in my country!
Probably more useful than 40k lore, but less useful than LotR lore.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Isn’t Mrs. Claus technically an elf?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Santa himself has been described as a "jolly old elf."

I'm no lore expert, but it makes me wonder if the original Santa (human) passed the title to one of his former underlings. The Dread Pirate Roberts of the North Pole, perhaps.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Even a contractual ‘Santa clause’ if you will

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is 320 considered an adult for elf aging in this scenario?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

It depends on what state you're in.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Do elves and humans intermarry? Would that be like beastiality?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

I don't think their DNA has been sequenced, but I'm willing to bet someone made babies with Homo floresiensis. I think bestiality must be a no-babies thing. As far as I'm concerned Homo floresiensis is blurry memory elves. Maybe weak, but I plug my no vote.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

That's how you get Bretons

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Although often considered a slur nowadays, Half-elves were the most common interspecies offspring in D&D.

It would only be considered beastiality by racists that view elves (or more likely, the humans) as animals.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Where the heck is half-elf being used as a slur? This is the first I've heard of it.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

🤷🏻‍♂️😁

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yes, first quoting Sir Terry Pratchett:

J.R.R. Tolkien has become a sort of mountain, appearing in all subsequent fantasy in the way that Mt. Fuji appears so often in Japanese prints. Sometimes it’s big and up close. Sometimes it’s a shape on the horizon. Sometimes it’s not there at all, which means that the artist either has made a deliberate decision against the mountain, which is interesting in itself, or is in fact standing on Mt. Fuji.

As such let's look at the Granddaddy of all modern Medieval Fantasy, in Tolkien's work there are several human/elf couples of renown, from Beren and Luthien which are not in the movies so people don't usually know to Aaragorn and Arwen (who are a central point of the movies). Not only that, but we know that they can produce offspring, because Elrond is a half-elf, not only is he a half-elf, but both his parents were half-elves.

In short, yes, they do.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Eärendil is the GOAT of half-elves 🌠

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Falka did in The Witcher, at least.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Neither. There is an age difference, sure, but an 80 year old woman is a well-lived human adult who can make her own choices. If it were an 80 year old female elf, then possible. Not sure what the age of consent is in elvish customs, or the age of emotional maturity. As for robbing the grave, no, she’s not dead. Robbing the cradle implies young life inside the cradle and there is nothing living in a grave. Now, if the elf provided the woman with prolonged life through elvish ways, then technically, he’s robbing the grave.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

I'm more concerned about the implications of the word "robbing". I mean, I'm hoping there's consent happening here ...

/s

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I don't think Arwen was doing either when she married Aragorn.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

The way I solve such matters in fantasy, once the characters involved have reached the required maturity and properly comprehend their commitment to one another it's all good.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

The grave, I would expect "From the cradle to the grave" to be describing the subject. So if the elf is marrying the old woman, then he's robbing the old woman's grave

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago