this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
916 points (98.8% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

5726 readers
22 users here now

Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.

Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!

Our Rules:

  1. Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.

  2. No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.

  3. Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.


Other Communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Wait, it's weird to eat mayo out of the tub? Is it also weird to eat mayo packets as well? Asking for a friend

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I mean, it's all food so, no? But also: yes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Yes. And, since this is a hypothetical and you don’t do it, I can be honest with you: it’s a vile act akin to genocide and may god have mercy on your soul. Or whosever soul would do such a thing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I knew a guy who would drink Windex Gatorade in college. He also often drank water from an opaque chocolate milk gallon jug.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Reminds me of a story from high school where a teacher claimed some chemistry teacher cleaned a beaker out really well to use it as a coffee mug and ended up collapsing or something one day. Hope Mr. Windexorade is healthy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I've done the mayonnaise jar trick and it was glorious. If you can get it, jello white chocolate pudding is a perfect color match to mayonnaise.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Thank you, you who are so wise in the culinary clown arts

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Methylated spirits, aka denatured alcohol in former commonwealth

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

If in the US or Mexico you could swap it out for a Fabuloso (floor cleaner) bottle, but it looks so much like juice anyway most people wouldn't notice. And you're never going to get the Fabuloso smell/taste out of that bottle. It's like 98% fragrance, 2% cleaner.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

It's what meth dealers sell meth in.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Alcohol + nasty shit so you dont drink it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

No idea. Definitely not where I store my meth

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I was in the Boy Scouts when I was a kid. Camping stoves attach to little portable propane tanks - I had a 'large' one that was about 1 liter total volume.

On a campout, I managed to break my water bottle, and about 15 mins after that I ran out of propane.

Used the pliers in my multitool to pop the valve off the opening (still had an outer lid that screwed on when not in use - made a surprisingly good seal).

Cleaned it out really thoroughly, and that was my new water bottle for a good year or so.

The looks of horror were pretty great.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

That's great, haha.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well it is Hershey's, what did she expect.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It works better if it's a mayo bottle.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sunscreen. That would be even worse.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

It gets you all euuugghhhh

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

My friend forgot to bring a water bottle when we stayed at his parent's cabin so he attempted to clean a small bottle of vegetable oil to bring on a hike instead

He vomited later that night

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

a small bottle of vegetable

Was 'vegetable' intended to be an adjective for an omitted word here? I can't think of many vegetables which come in bottles...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Vegetable oil*

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That was the jar of poisoned vegetables, what kind of jabroni doesn't know that?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

It was given to them by some queen dressed as a witch

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

I too am full of microplastics

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

The only downside is how badly these bottles seal when using thin liquids

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I used an empty wiper fluid bottle as s drinking bottle in a party. It wasn't the best idea since people were worried I was chugging denatured ethanol neat and getting an alcohol poisoning.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

people were worried I was chugging denatured ethanol

Most windshield wiper fluid contains methanol, not ethanol. Methanol is much more toxic than ethanol. A few milliliters can cause permanent blindness, and a few more can be fatal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Those are illegal to sell here. Proper alcoholics here used to drink the strongly denatured ethanol based windshield wiper fluids, but now they prefer the less strongly denatured hand sanitizers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I read Genuine as Guinness at first and was suddenly very interested in Hershey syrup

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Also a good idea to use vodka bottle for water in the office

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Once a guy brought a 2 liter coke to the gym, gotta admit that was tempting

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If you see me guzzling down the pickle juice, I assure you: it's pickle juice not water. Mmm... Pickle juice... 🤤

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Man, that can not be good for you in large quantities. Better share some with me just in case.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

You guys really love vinegar, don't you?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

At ugly sweater parties I put my cocktails into a syrup bottle and dress like an Elf 🙂

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I used to head to the local pool before work to do a few laps. There was a dude in his fifties who would do about 150 laps (4km /2.5mi) drinking regularly from a masterfoods tomato sauce bottle

https://www.masterfoods.com.au/cdn-cgi/image/width=277,height=277,f=auto,quality=90/sites/g/files/fnmzdf1746/files/migrate-product-files/m2qzgte5yyivo7dy9opi.png

(it was filled with water)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I saw a YouTube video years ago where someone replaced the mayo in a mayonnaise jar with vanilla pudding and then went out in public to eat it. The looks they got were hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Thorny's wife.