this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
1131 points (99.6% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 156 points 1 month ago (6 children)

why does this image have built-in spit droplets

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My dumb ass just went and tried to clean my screen before I read your comment

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Did you put it into screen cleaning mode first?

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

It has been saved, reposted and saved so many times that there is data loss making fuzzy artifacts in the picture.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

This was incredibly confusing for me because I washed my hands after opening this post. I picked up my phone, and I read your top comment before reading the post, and then I looked at my screen and I actually had water on my screen. I was like, "Damn that is some realistic looking water!" Then I wiped it on my shirt and it disappeared and I got really confused lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Shower thoughts, clearly it needs water.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

Image so old it got moldy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

It’s semen

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Just open up notepad, start cleaning, and then use the resulting document as a word finder puzzle. Hell, if you're really lucky you might write the next best selling novel.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wouldn't recommend this. I mean, it was publishable, sure. But there were tons of spelling errors.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

Bah! That's what editors are for!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

They told me it was already published by Shakespeare.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Some keyboards have a lock button and most can be unplugged

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mostly only an issue for laptops.

Side note: whoever decided that pressing any key on the keyboard should turn on the computer should be shot. Fuck you Apple for bringing that back.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not sure how long I’ve had this tool but several years at least. Nothing fancy, just toggles keyboard input temporarily so you can clean. Works for power key.

https://folivora.ai/keyboardcleantool

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think there used to be a program for windows to lock the keyboard, too. Themed around protecting from cats walking across it, if anyone wants to look.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You're supposed to clean your keyboard?

I bought one with lights and it's a glorious display case for my collection of dead skin, crumbs and stray pubes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

How are your pubes getting near your k--

wait, no I don't want the answer to that question.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)
  1. Unplug keyboard or turn off bluetooth.
  2. Clean keyboard.
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Unplugging the keyboard requires getting down on my hands and knees, groping around to find a plug I can't visually see, and probably dislocating my shoulder in the process.

And then even more luck required to get the plug I can't see back IN, trying the USB every single way blind by feel only, and neither way wants to accept it's the right one.

It's an absolute last resort.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My keyboard has a detachable cable so you can just unplug it from the keyboard

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I'm happy for you

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

ok but get this: I have a laptop

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Gotta go harder to get that deep clean.

Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eX3IGPq8AQ

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Thank you, meme, for making me take 20 seconds to clean my phone screen then wonder why it wouldn't clean.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't clean my keyboard. I just add chia seeds and a little water. Chia keyboard ftw.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

K-K-K-Keyboard!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just lock the screen. The worst that'll happen is a failed login or switching the keyboard layout or something.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Windows-L is the hotkey (in Windows at least), for those who maybe didn't know.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago

My god, unplug the USB or just turn off the keyboard. Simple.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Esterline make specialised keyboards that are specifically for sterile environments which have this feature. You press a button, the keys are ignored and you can wipe the keyboard down.

https://www.advancedinput.com/medigenic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Sounds like a mouthwash company

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Unplug it or turn it off if it's wireless. Not that hard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

It's what happens when you trip over the lamp's power cord, except for a keyboard.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I just open a vt and clean. Typing gibberish on login prompt is fine and f keys don't work.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I usually open vim.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

You could also just unplug the keyboard

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Everyone has a reason here why this isn't necessary, but frankly it's just not a dumb idea and especially relevant for shared workplace workstations. I'd rather have a disable for cleaning button than a windows button.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Almost all DEs have a lock screen...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Luckily, my Keyboard is so dirty that I need to pull off all keycaps anyway.

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