this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
637 points (92.9% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Anon probably deserved it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

pfft this ridiculous shit - most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people - is disproven easily by reality.

https://www.jalopnik.com/youve-got-to-stop-keeping-your-gun-in-your-car-1850929717/

https://www.jalopnik.com/a-gun-is-stolen-from-a-car-every-9-minutes-in-america-1851472717/

that's a single example of the idiocy. it gets dumber the further you research. Most, bwahahahah

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Aim center mass babe

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

He's lucky his wife didn't have a gun.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

If the wife knows where he keeps the guns she could and probably would just as easily shoot him.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Hmm...

This is some combination of right-wing gun-toting and sexism. A very.... wonderful combination.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Both the "locks away guns, guns are always empty except on the shooting range or hunting, safety conscious" person and the "gets drunk every evening and sleeps with a loaded gun under their pillow" person are actually totally safe as long as they uphold the number one rule of gun safety: "The barrel of a gun may never be pointed at a person". Super hard to shoot someone unless you are Angelina Jolie or James McAvoy or one of those bullet ricochet superheroes. Of course it's a useless rule since it is simply stating the obvious. But that doesn't seem to stop people from repeating it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

You repeated it?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

In any given year, more than half of all gun deaths are suicides, so really it should read...

Go back inside

Shoot self

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

But how would they type it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

They are a bad shot

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

So much potential greentext, wasted.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Or stabbed by kids because wifi is down ....

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago (3 children)

People getting stabbed with wives instead of knives now 😔

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Hey, don't knock it till you try it. It's the newest fad, baby!

/hides_strapon_behind_back_as_spouse_enters_house

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Sharp women

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

these goddamn feminists ruin everything

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)

this is why we need to regulate wives

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

I'd say we should just outright make homicide illegal so we don't have to be sexist about it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

yeah, fuck men though, they can stab as many men as they want, as long as they're in a gay relationship.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

well yeah obviously gays should be allowed to stab people

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Exceptions are rare enough that there’s only like one mass shooting a week!

[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (25 children)

In 2022 or 2023 there was one mass shooting for every day of the year. Anon was simply in the wrong place.

https://www.massshootingtracker.site/

Looks like they're on track for another great year of mass shootings!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago

90 mass shootings in 101 days! At least 11 days without one, way to go USA.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fake. Anon doesn’t have a wife. That would involve talking to a woman.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

And gay, for he got impaled from behind.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Be British

Go to the United States

Don't Get Blown up in a Cybertruck

Don't Get Shot up in a mass shooting

Don't Get Robbed shirtless by a home invasion

Don't Get Scammed broke by a crypto-coin shill

Do find the one person in the entire country who insists on doing knife crime

Marry her

Get stabbed to death

Post about it on 4chan

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (21 children)

most gun owners are safe and cautious

I know some of the most brain dead takes that my friends with guns do. Some gun owners are absolutely crazy when it comes to gun safety and storage.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Another take, I am super on it with gun safety, but not storage. There are never minors allowed in my home, and a gun isn't useful unless you can get to it easily and it's ready to go. Only guns resting inside the safe are unloaded, all the guns that work for a living have loaded magazines and a round in the chamber (I don't own any 1911 pattern guns, if I did, they would not be chambered.) Also, no exposed trigger, everything is in a holster.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

So she was "standing her ground?"

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Eeeuuuugggghhhh, my wife is a reeeeaaaaaal wife, I’ll tell ya

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

Could just be a story about a man getting pegged by his wife

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

See that is the problem.

All gun owners should be completely cautious and safe. That is why you background check them thoroughly.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago (8 children)

Well he did deserve it by wearing that hat.

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