this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 45 comments
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

OOPs picture is clearly a photoshopped porkchop. Who even bothers with making this shit.

[–] [email protected] 217 points 2 days ago (7 children)

None of this is true. It's a piece of ham that looks mildly like a vagina, and someone came up with a funny story.

[–] [email protected] 110 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Do you think someone would do that? Just go on the Internet and lie?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

Especially on a shitposting community? What’s the world coming to?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago

The audacity!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

On the internet, no one knows you're a dog.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Welp, I am gullible enough to think it might be real

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

That's a heck of a lot more than mildly vulva

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

I gotta say, I did laugh though.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How can it be fake if it's not gay? Dude just ate pussy, that's as straight as it gets.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Fake: no silicone would deform like that at conventional cooking temperatures.

Gay: user's name is Callum.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Silicone no. But TPE, which melts ~170°C (~340°F) might. Still fake tho.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

If it actually was attempted to be cooked in a skillet, a very, very different outcome and text message would have been shared.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hey, what are the chances that's some actual Pig crotch? Isn't ham made from cured or dried pork?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ham is made from the thighs of the pig

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There's a non-zero chance a pig had a mutation where it had a vagina on its thigh, or thighussy as the kids would say.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

There are a bunch of fake meat products intended for vegans. Fake steaks, fake thanksgiving turkeys. Usually made out of seitan (gluten), tofu, or mung bean proteins. I don’t think any of them resemble fleshlights…

My local pan Asian has had “vegan pork uterus” for ages.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I don't think putting something in a freezer would disinfect it. Stop the microbes from breading while it's inside, but they start again quickly as soon as it gets out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

It does depend. Some microbes die when being frozen, but generally heat is much more effective (though you probably shouldn't cook your Fleshlight and use some disinfection sprelay (etc) instead)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago

Ice crystals can and do rupture cells. But it's not a good method to disinfect as a lot depends on the freezing rate resulting in different crystal sizes.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Maybe OP had parasitic worms in his flesh light.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

*googles "how to erase thoughts"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's just a picture of Jack Daniels

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I believe that's the search result for "how to prevent thoughts". Kinda similar, but there's a difference.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Hmm, not bad. Bit salty...

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 days ago (1 children)

True or not this shit killed me

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

How does one expect freezing to disinfect?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago

Freezing can kill bacteria, but only at temperatures far below what the standard freezer can reach. They do this for many seafood products sold commercially.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How does one mistake a fleshlight for edible meat?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago

They don't because this is fake.