this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 166 points 1 month ago (3 children)

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 month ago (11 children)
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Just have us piss from asshole

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago (1 children)

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (5 children)
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (13 children)

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Well, we do glow in infrared...

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (7 children)
  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (9 children)

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Maybe we could get rows like sharks

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wait, you can't eat and breathe through the same hole?

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Casually forgot about cancer

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (10 children)

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that "deleting gay gene" or "breeding smart people" pseudo science garbage.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Saltwater consumption when????

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (7 children)

We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Mosquitos are not humanity though.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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