"how do you spend your (free) time"?
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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"Hey, got any hobbies or interests?"
No, really, most people are dying to talk about their hobbies and will gladly tell you if you ask...
True. But in my experience, people tend to engage a little better in the conversation if it feels more natural.
~~ask her~~
Buy her data from the market.
Sooo... You too like furry femdom?
yo dawg, whatchu do for fun? Have you considered: me?
What could go wrong? 100% chance of success
“What have you been up to lately?”[wait to see if they mention their hobby].
“I’ve been [insert your hobbies here]. Have you ever tried it?”
“No? Well what do you like to do for fun? Oh I’ve tried that too/never done that.”
Nice! That ought to work. Thank you!
Just want to add. Don't ask them a question, waiting with a prepared response to whatever they say. Go into the conversation with an idea of what you want to say, sure, but don't ask someone a question you don't intend to fully listen to the answer of in an attempt to make a smooth segue.
If you ask what she's been doing lately, and she doesn't happen to mention her hobbies, but she does engage the conversation with you and tells you about her week, day, whatever, make sure you're present and listening, and don't immediately blow her response off with, "well I do XYZ, ever try?"
You got this!
please post your updates
I will, but I only see her about twice a week.
wait until she replies her hobby is answering questions on asklemmy
"we're both on the spectrum, may I hit that?"
So... what activities do you partake in, in order to distract yourself from the cruel truths of the universe? Ye know... the fact what we are all going to die, humanity is going to go extinct, and there will never be a trace of us left, and our existence wouldn't be significant at all, in the grand scheme of spaxe and time, and that life has no meaning at all.
Anyone I have ever known will mentions their hobbies and interests overtime when talking in general.
"what is your hobbies precious? Tells us you must!" Then screech like this: https://youtu.be/YtZLWaqHn10
I guess there's room for a plan B.
Don't worry about being direct and clear - good communication is a well appreciated trait and generally people like talking about their hobbies.
"So what do you do for fun?"
If that's too direct, just mention something fun you did recently and let them decide to respond in kind. If they don't open up to you like that in the slightest, after you open up to them in such a small way, then you should just take the hint and go talk to someone else.
"dance has seemingly brought us both here, what else do you like to do with your free time?"
Volunteer your hobbies and interests and see if she wants to learn more about any of them.
If you have a pet, casually mention it. People like to talk about their pets. Any bumper stickers on her car? Social media pics?
Be careful with the last two. Depending on context, these could come across as stalking.