this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
908 points (99.3% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Make like a tree, and get the fuck out

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

People in glass houses sink ships

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Whatever bursts your boat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Make like a banana and leave.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Check out Boondock Saints, from which this is a quote. Hilarious movies

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Surely it’s a riff on BTTF’s Biff Tannen right?

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's a really tough nut to swallow

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Does the pope shit in the woods?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

And which one would you rather meet in the middle of a forest?

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

A bird in the hand is worth its weight in gold.

Icarus flew too close to the man in the moon.

Find a penny, pick it up. Would you like some making fuck?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

BERSERKER!

Outstanding, friend. Got a laugh out of me.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Daffy Duck one said, "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it." And 10 year old me couldn't stop laughing.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

This makes me so happy, thanks for teaching me a word

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

i'n not the brightest bulb in the shed, but i sure am the sharpest!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

I used to say "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it." all the time! People didn't like it though.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I had a boss who said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck his ass to make him drink."
I... I just... Can't.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Those that live in glass houses can throw the first stone.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Don't throw glasses in a stone house.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Malaphors? I call these Rickyisms.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's all water under the fridge.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exactly. Making these things up ain't rocket appliances.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

And there’s so many out there already you can use the existing ones and teach others; get two birds stoned at once

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rickyisms are modern day malapropisms, named for Mrs Malaprop from the 1775 play The Rivals by Sheridan, rather than malaphors.

The difference being a malaphor is a mixed up idiom like the examples in the post and a malapropism is substituting a word in a common saying or idiom for a similar sounding one. For example, "finding an escape goat" or "I resemble that remark".

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Worse case Ontario I get to tell you I toad a so, I fuckin a toad a so.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I've made my omelette, now I've got to sleep in it. If you lead a horse to water, you can make it fish.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The fish one is making me laugh

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Which is to say: a whole hell of a lot easier than a camel going through the eye of a needle, to quote JC.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Those who dig others a grave shouldn't throw rocks.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

You're barking up the wrong metaphor

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butchers ass, but I'd rather take the bulls word for it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

What the fuck is this from? I know this quote; the unflipped one

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

one of my favourites is "the sharpest bulb in the box"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her douche.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I spit my drink. Oh well, it's water under the fridge.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

You made my day, now you have to sleep in it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

She looks like she's been through the run of the mill

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

You can't have your cake.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

For those of you speaking German: Hast du enen Scherzkeks gefrühstückt?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i like to say "das leben ist kein ponyschlecken" and "das leben ist kein zuckerhof".

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

From the TV show Angel.

Harmony, vampire ex-cheerleader

"You're preaching to the horse's mouth!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not the brightest knife in the tool room.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Does the pope shit in the woods?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

You can't crack an omelet without making eggs.

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