this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 126 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Its okay for cats because they're cute and adorable, which elon isn't.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a "reputable" design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the "next steps to take." 🤷‍♀️

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah that's right. Was just ranting. Haha. We're in the onion community

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

This is literally my cat when I'm in the bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.

The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.

The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "chamber system".[1][2]

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

National Fecal policy

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is Trump we are talking about, so musk's title is probably more like "Presidential diaper changer".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon's kinks.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

"Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first"

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Isn't that what they used to say about Trump?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald's pants while he's taking a shit.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

feels bad about it after a minute and lets him

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

He's not going to wipe himself.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Oh he doesn't like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you're exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

This needs to be an article series.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

well somebody's gotta give him the blumpkin, right?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That's daddy and Eric time

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn't need anymore

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who's gonna wipe his butt then?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Based on trends witht he rest of his staff

  • Trump had someone
  • he probably handled classified shit (heh)
  • either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.

So he'll need another. Who's the judge who's been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn't imprisoned?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Brings a new meaning to "Closed door meetings".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It's a solid routine. 😆

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The First Lady is very needy in this upcoming administration.