The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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Trump Warns Immigrants Taking All The Good Vanity Plates (theonion.com)
submitted 34 minutes ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters (theonion.com)
submitted 2 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Employer Says It’s OK To Not Be OK But HR Will Probably Use You Not Being OK Against You (www.betootaadvocate.com)
submitted 6 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
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Country Musician Put Out of Work by AI Capable of Boot Licking Ten Times Faster (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink
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Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
30 comments fedilink
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Tim Walz Under Fire for Allegedly Inflating Bag Toss Score at Family BBQ in 1998 (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
56 comments fedilink
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Baby Boomers Leave Entire $78.55 Trillion Fortune To Single Spoiled Pomeranian (theonion.com)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
18 comments fedilink
 
 

subtitled screenshot of Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) in the 1998 film The Big Lebowski saying to Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) "Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers" as Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi) looks on

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Cop Worried Illegal Immigrants Eating Neighborhood Dogs He Planned on Shooting (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
17 comments fedilink
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The Onion Front Page: September 10, 2024 (theonion.com)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
24 comments fedilink
 
 

https://theonion.com/todays-historic-front-page-september-10-2024/

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9/11 Truther Questions Why There Were Two Huge Bullseyes Painted On Side Of Twin Towers (youtu.be)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Trump Avoids Answering Hard Questions By Pretending He Shot In Ear Again (theonion.com)
submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed (theonion.com)
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
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Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Kamala Harris Tells Donald Trump he Should Smile More (www.seahorseshoe.com)
submitted 6 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

“He should smile more” said a beaming Kamala Harris. “He travels by private jet, won the Donald Trump golf trophy this year, and was the guest of honor in his January 6th fundraising gala. Yet all we see him do is scowl. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

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Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
45 comments fedilink
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'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either (reductress.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
120 comments fedilink
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Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
35 comments fedilink
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Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
12 comments fedilink
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Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school (newsthump.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
132 comments fedilink
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Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards (hard-drive.net)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
24 comments fedilink
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Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban (isglitch.com)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink
 
 

SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute

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Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
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