this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
252 points (95.3% liked)

Funny

7305 readers
1253 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 74 points 2 months ago

Seems like a good knight out.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Naughty jokes aside, I would love that, laugh my ass off, and look forward to an amazing date.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Going on a quest? Fuck yeah

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Nope. Going ice skating and then out for sushi.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Close enough.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Wearing a full suit of armor, accomplishing either IS quite the quest 😄

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I challenge her to a duel. If I win, I gain her hand in marriage. If she wins... I suppose I would have to give her my hand in marriage.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Win - Win sort of plan you have.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I see what you did there

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

Finally I could say "m'lady" without shame.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

I put on my robe and wizard hat. If the date goes well, maybe I'll show her my wand of magic missile.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Break out some coconuts and become her faithful steed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

He have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join his court at Camelot.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

Pledge fealty and marry her immediately

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Bras are bad enough, now I have to learn how to take off a hauberk?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Clearly, I'd put on my robe and wizard hat.

[–] supercargo 12 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Make sure the pageboys are still around, cause getting in that mail is gonna be a team effort.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Somebody call the locksmith!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Hope she Lays on Hands me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Drive to Constantinople, to party like it's 1204

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ok if you are wearing that then I'm wearing a wig, corset and big puffy dress.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

gotta one-up her in masculinity, make sure the frills are at least twice the size of yourself, and the shoes pointy enough to inflict stab wounds.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

"Lo, see ye her, all gleamin' in her plate, like some manner of queen, sittin' high in her gilded carriage, thinkin' herself bettr' than us 'cause of her fine metal and steed of silver."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Invite her back to my place for some jousting.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

What a Dame!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

If it wasn't the plan already, changing them to Medieval Times.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Oh... So I guess I can pass for a Wizard...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Taking off that chainmail will rip half of her hair off. If that's your thing...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

She should be okay if she's wearing one of those hair things underneath. I forget what they're called. It bunches up your hair like a shower cap and keeps your hair from getting in the armor

Edit: the girl here is not wearing one it seems though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It's called a coif. They also serve a critical part in terms of shock absorption.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Why would she ever take that off?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Thats a kind of a turnoff

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Typically a person wears a cap of some sort under the chainmail so that hair doesn't get entangled.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Jolly cooperation is what I'd do

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Refuse if she offers a handjob

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Too much makeup ! Deal breaker.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Definitely pretty pointy elbows