this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 10 months ago (4 children)

This is known as revenge bedtime procrastination and capitalism plays a huge role in it.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And I will remain sleepless. I refuse to give up the only free time I can claw away. Its all a joke anyway, my bosses made a 140k position for some guy who doesnt do shit. Cant even work his computer. The world is a jest, and we its jesters.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

It's not as bad as 140k, I think somewhere around 100k, but I have a guy like this too and he's the office joke. Worst part is the guy who can fire him knows but for some reason is still hanging on to him.

He's not the reason I participate in RSP though, that's definitely my 4 kids and early wake up needs for work. Love 'em to pieces but I'll be damned if I don't get some quality silence or other mindful disconnect from reality before sleeping. Sometimes it's just sitting in the lazy boy with the lights down low and my air pods in (noise cancellation on, nothing playing).

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Wow... thanks for telling me why I'm like this. )=

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Yeah ok, I don't have DSPOD I think I have that.

medicine still works some tho

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Could you tell me why Capitalism specifically plays a role in it?

Not arguing, just curious

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah! A lot of this comes from a lack of agency in your daily life. You have to do all sorts of things just to stay afloat, leaving little to no time for yourself, so you take revenge at bedtime. The classic argument that salary and hours are no longer tied to productivity applies here; working less for more money reduces the need to spend your sleeping hours finding satisfaction.

I wouldn’t say this is a uniquely capitalistic problem, though. Capitalism is just a huge factor in the reduction of individual agency (unless you’re a capitalist and actually have agency) and it’s the most common setup we have currently. You could have the same lack of agency in another setup and see the same problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So you would say a change within the system (whatever the system might be) is more necessary than a change of the system, because it could be a problem within any system?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I think that’s a really good and very deep question. I think there are some changes within the system we could try. Universal basic income, for example, has a lot of promise in terms of getting people beyond the basics to what they can be passionate about. A four day (eight hours each) work week could reduce the need for revenge by giving back a lot of the time we should have. I think there’s good data for both of those things that shows an increase in agency.

I don’t even know how to approach a change in the system. I would be concerned with just these changes because I am deeply cynical of capitalists and their lack of interest in sharing agency with the working class.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago

Or as I originally heard it, "going to bed is going to work."

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's assuming You fall asleep instantly. For me it's "free time ends and 4 hours of trying to fall asleep begin, then another four of waking up every hour, and then another 16 of trying not to fall asleep".

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

You need better sleep hygiene my friend.

I do, too but you do too, too.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

And tomorrow is always so shit because I’m so tired

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

This is exactly why I don't have enough sleep.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Go to bed and wake up earlier and give yourself some recreation time first time in the morning. That way, you aren't going to sleep in order to work afterwards: you're going to sleep so that you can enjoy the rest of your free time better rested. This is much easier said than done, of course, but I have a better rest when I can fit this routine into my schedule.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I already go to bed at 10:30 to be up by 6:30 with 8 hours of sleep.

I leave for work at 7:15 and get home by about 6pm.

I have to make dinner and then clean up the kitchen afterwards. It's usually 8-830 by then.

I have 2 hours to myself. Work out? Video game back log? Read? Coding projects I want to finish? Usually I burn about 45 minutes to just stare at a wall and space out.

My wife is diagnosed with MS now, and we both still have to work our ass off, because if she stops working we'll both be homeless in short order due to the utter joke we'd get in government funded medical assistance. I will never be able to afford a house if food, energy, and transportation remain this expensive relative to our income.

Should I be waking up at 4 to enjoy my life? Make dinner, clean up and then go to bed? Is this what it's come to? Cram what makes my life enjoyable before dawn so I'm not just "waking up to work"? Shit, that seems like work too.

I know I'm not the only one, but why does every coping strategy feel like shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic to me?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you are a dev and you dont earn enough, I suspect you have quite a number of options still.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

A-fucking-men.

Blue collar factory schmuck here: Look at me, I'm the ~~Captian~~ worthless one now.

I'd figuratively kill for some options lol

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I was a bit scared to write this here, but Im not scared telling you: Devs crying because of capitalist society and walls closing in is just laughable. The fuck are they talking about. They earn 2x as much as me, maybe 3x. In the same company I work at.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

No that's just how bad our system is that even this dev is saying if one of them stops working they'll be homeless. And the tech job market right now is the worst it's been since 2008, he may not have many options in reality.

Devs are still workers like everyone else even though a lot of them think they're above it all.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I am a Junior sysadmin. They literally earn twice as much as me. They got atleast my pay amounts of free money to spend as I do survive on this amount. If I had that much money, I would feel very cozy.

I dont actually believe they are that bad off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Most aren't bad off, but this guy is not your usual situation. The point is that a little bad luck can fuck over anyone other than the rich

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well, I'd send you my excel sheet of finances, but we're strangers, so I don't know what else to say.

I'll recap: helping take care of my wife who has MS, financially dealing with inflation everywhere, finding the resources for mental health therapy for myself, and helping care for both of our aging parents, while trying to put away for a house of our own is really fucking hard. Even as a guy who writes software for a living as a freelancer.

I have to rent. It's not a choice for me, and I doubt I'm in some minority of devs who feel this way about economics in the United States.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm still not convinced. Xd Why go to the Netherlands with astronomical rent and cost of everyday conduct when you are a freelancer? Why even rent, dont you have a family house where you could safely earn the money you need?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I went to the Netherlands because my wife is a Dutch citizen and get the drugs she needs to stay alive and functional are cheaper there.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago

Okay I get it now. Im just a envious guy. :P

I have suffered for years. I have thoughts of blame, suicide and revenge all the time.

Lots of the time it comes down to the stress reaction of the body. One example is when I started taking the SSRI medication. I literally went nuts for 3 months. Wanting to go out of my way to hurt people and burn myself live in front of a political institution.

Since those days, Im keenly aware when Im trailing off to bullshit land. This never ending dreadful loop of thoughts. Very dependent on immediate physical state than anything else.

Other than shuffling chairs you can only really give a bit more to be able to get somewhere. This is the only way.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Really is easier said than done - if someone already gets up at 05-06:00 in the morning they haven't got much room to get up earlier.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Sure they do

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

It takes me like 2 hours to become fully functional after I wake up. Even on days off when I can sleep in. I'd rather get paid for that wake up period than have it during my free time I can't fully enjoy

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

That is every Sunday for me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

For me it's like when I'm having a bad day at work, I wish for the workday to end.

But then I get home and I have to be alone with my thoughts until the next workday. And I find myself wishing the weekend would end so that I can distract myself with work.

It's a frustrating cycle.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Sounds like you need a hobby.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Is this why I don't go to sleep early?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Luckily, I don't have that every night. But sometimes, like today, I definitely relate to this. 1:55AM here, tomorrow can suck it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Tomorrow is nearly yesterday and every day is stupid.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Staying up till 3AM so the day lasts longer

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Try having children. They wake up at ~5am every day and they are young enough that they can't take care of themselves yet, so I must go to bed at 10pm if I am to get a decent night's sleep.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I sometimes go to sleep at 8 because of it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

That kind of time is not free.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Really relatable

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Imagine having a job

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I feel this deep in my soul.