The Onion

Both sides are bad because the elves had rings and Sauron had a ring. See, both the same!

Look, everyone is saying Saruman is just as bad as Sauron, but here's the thing:

Yes he is moving towards Sauron strategically on specific issues, but these issues are important to his base and he has to throw them a bone.

Yes he is illegally killing Rohan civilians, but nobody claimed the defense of the regions west of his Stone Circle system would be painless.

Yes his armies look and foreign policy look eerily similar to Sauron's, but he promises he's trying to stop him actually.

You purists in the Shire keep saying it's not necessary to destroy the whole forest of Fangorn but he got the endorsement of Lurtz, so he clearly knows more about politics than you do.

Anyone serious understands that resisting Sauron means voting for Saruman.

She wants to fill your farmland with trees! Useless trees! No more taters or pipe weed! Good luck digging a new burrow with all those roots. Speaking of roots, did you hear about the Ents? All they do is destroy our towns, ripping our dams apart so they can drink all our water. Horrible, horrible creatures, and they will tread all over your flower gardens if you let this self-centered "elf queen" have her way!

The twist is that halfling votes don't matter because Eriador is a solid Galadriel state. The only votes that matter are votes from small enclave of erratic Men in South Gondor

Why is the hero Galadriel bragging about being endorsed by Grima Wormtongue and the Witch King of Amgmar? And what happened to all the Haradrim?

Looks like the orcs are out in force tonight

Genocide propaganda. Why do you support, or at least not have a problem with, the extermination of the Palestinian people?

Was Galadriel pledging strong endless support for a genocide? I don't remember that part of the books if I'm honest.

I know the article is a threadbare simile, but it more than misses the whole point of Galadriel's character in the books/movie. For even someone like Galadriel who meets this beyond-human ideal of beauty, purity and "goodness", the power of the One Ring to dominate life is so corrupting that it would simply turn her into a new Sauron. Which is why after failing to resist temptation, Galadriel leaves Middle Earth and goes into the West. If there's one point that is hammered in repeatedly throughout the Lord of the Rings, it's that such absolute power cannot be used for good, despite anyone's best intentions, and the only recourse is for it to be destroyed.

You should focus all your attention on the genocide of the horsemen of Rohan, and absolutely ignore the much larger genocide of the people of Gondor because they should have just surrendered to mordor in the beginning to have peace. Also mordor didn't encourage that other genocide to distract from their genocide at all.

Signed

A concerned citizen from somewhere outside mordor like St. Brandywinesburg.

Was worried that the actual Onion had posted Liberalism, but thankfully it's some knockoff

I was under impression that Sauron was for order through subjugation, not chaos.

But in any case that would just make the allegory more fitting.

Okay but the real question being asked is "which of the two should we give the One Ring too?"

And the answer may surprise you!

This post is a good reminder why I need to sort by Local and not All.