this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 153 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Bleh, it sucks to find out about another school shooting this way. I'm glad they do this though.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago

Same thought. I see this headline and think, "Oh no..."

Young teenagers murdering people. So crazy.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

Same here. Had to look up the story. Ugh...

You'd think I'd be numb to it by now, but my heart breaks every time.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

You can just assume that since it's a day ending in "y" there has been another mass shooting in America

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[–] [email protected] 137 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"let's get back to talking about how gay books in the library are ruining our kids' lives!!"

-GOP

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What they need to do is make guns gay, then watch how quick they're banned.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not too hard, the things are often phallic shaped and you gotta stroke its trigger to get it to release its load everywhere. Just saying.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 months ago (16 children)

As a non-American, can I just say: get your shit together and ban guns as you clearly can’t be trusted with them as a country.

Fully expecting to get downvoted by the “but it’s mah hobby” brigade. Get a new hobby, there’s peoples lives at stake.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

America has a gun problem but it also has a fear problem.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

And a self-esteem problem.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They need more regulation. It's easier to get a gun then a drivers license.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

The reality of it is we know straight up banning guns is the only way to truly solve this problem. The issue is we like to pretend it is some super complex issue with all this nuance that can only be approached by the best and brightest, but the right people to put that policy together just haven't come along yet. We tell ourselves that because the truth is we are totally okay with a certain amount of faceless death as long as we can have our toys and we don't have to clean up the mess.

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"If only there were 50 more guns for everyone to whip out at the same time with no way of knowing who the shooter is in the sea of guns, that'll be safer!"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think I've read a story or two about the "anti-shooter" getting shot for being at a massacre with a weapon drawn, like some kind of murderer.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Drawing a weapon in public seems insane to me. Even if you are the "good guy with a gun" in the eyes of everyone else, you are a potential murderer.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (4 children)

NRA: If only enough 14 year olds were armed, this could have been prevented...

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Thoughts and prayers

Now what about them there mexicans at the border!!!

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (15 children)

My opinions about guns have changed over the years. I used to be of the opinion that nobody should have guns in this day and age, what's the point aside from ego boosting and sport.

Then a cheeto puff did a treason on jan6.

I'll give up my guns only after the fascists give up theirs. Non negotiable.

You want to "prevent tragedies"? fund programs for welfare and healthcare. Tax the rich. Break up megacorps like google, albertsons, nestle. Enact and enforce employee protections. Raise the minimum wage. Ban airbnb and heavily tax empty residences. Universal basic income! Did I mention fixing the healthcare system? More that I'm forgetting to list.

Miserable parents make miserable kids, and miserable kids lash out. For the wealthiest and most powerful nation on the planet, this shouldn't be hard to figure out.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

... Nestlé...

But surely it's proper for one company to control the entire food supply. I mean you wouldn't want to be a communist and not let the free market do as it wishes

/s in case the italics and words aren't enough

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

i have on occasion been accused of being a communist. Usually when I point out that people deserve rights.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

also fire every single cop in the country and replace them all with people who actually believe that they're supposed to protect and serve.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fuck this is the way I learn there’s been a school shooting!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Pretty sure there's a school shooting in the US nearly every day now... We only hear about them during election season

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's only about one per week, if you average it out over the whole year, including when there is no school.
2022 had 51: https://www.edweek.org/leadership/school-shootings-this-year-how-many-and-where/2022/01

If you are just talking about "mass shooting" events, it's closer to 2 events per day in the USA.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mass_shootings_in_the_United_States_in_2023#List

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

There is a mass shooting everyday (on average), school shootings are a bit less often.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

School shooters still thinking they're going to become as infamous as Columbine. They're just getting added to the huge pile of names.

Nobody will remember you.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Locally they will very much be remembered.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Also, I don't think being remembered is the main point. It seems to me to be more about a violent release of frustration and getting back at the people who "wronged" them, usually combined with suicide by cop.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This might be the most evergreen article The Onion has ever published.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

> be me
> doom scrolling international news on my death bed in 2064
> this article shows up
> goodbye my old friend

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago

It's "funny" that there's conspiracy theories that these are all liberal psyops to force gun control. Surely the deep state would realize by now that no amount of dead children will change people's minds.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

If you take away my unfettered access to guns, how will I support the government when they trample the rights of people I don't like? /s

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (11 children)

The new face of violent radicalism in the United States: aggrieved, rural, white "Future Farmers of America" Trump kids raised by white, rural, aggrieved Trump parents that don't keep their guns secure.

Edit: yes, he was part of FFA. He was "member of the month" last month.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Every bad guy with a gun was a good guy with a gun yesterday.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Must suck to be the person that has to write this every time. Do you think it's one person or do you think they have to take turns?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

I imagine it's just a form they fill out with a few fields: city, number of shooters, number of dead, number of wounded. The rest of it stays the same each time.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Now I know emotions are all running high, and we’re all shocked and scared by yet another senseless act of violence (or mental illness if white, act of terror if brown). However, now is not the time to start talking about things like “gun control” and “approval lists.” How about we schedule sometime on March 31st around 7:30am EST and we can all sit down for 15 minutes and discuss ways to prevent the next tragedy. However I cannot stress it enough that NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO POLITICIZE THIS.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Can't believe it's over ten years since John Oliver's Gun Control Trilogy

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

This is the 37th time they've had to use this headline. I'm not sure if the repetition makes me more sad, or angry, or if it is now simply becoming numbing. Thirty-Seven. :-(

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27No_Way_to_Prevent_This,%27_Says_Only_Nation_Where_This_Regularly_Happens

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

On track for record profits this year! This is a wonderful graph for a business but horrible for what it actually is. Fuck the GOP and fuck the 2nd amendment. The 2nd amendmenters don't think of the children, just the fetus.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Our self-inflicted suffering is evergreen.

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