this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Stop pretending like you don't fart when you pee, there's no shame in it. That's typically the time to moan, if you're going to do it.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All while you’re looking your urinal neighbor straight in the eye.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Relevant username

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do it again, but include sneezing this time.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

But there's a small chance of it making a printout on your underpants.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Core memory

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Then add cumming

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Personally, I'd find it very concerning if I went to piss and farts started coming out instead.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

If you hold farts in till you go to the restroom, its a natural time they'll come out as you relax while peeing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

But farts aren't supposed to come out of your pee hole.

...Right?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Urethrarts are dangerous, consult a doctor

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

What am I supposed to say, "Doctor, I pee carbonated."

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Wouldn't the fart bubbles make the pee go everywhere? Like air bubbles in a garden hose when you first turn it on.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

No the farts actually assist with urine release from the urethra. It's healthy.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Iirc that's called a Fistula.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago

checks community

Yep, we're in the right place, boys.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Where is the case where I'm being efficient and do everything in 1 go?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

That is the entire second row about

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

This man's parts send his sharts off the charts

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

What like brushing your teeth or showering?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Reading this was very confusing until i realized some people don't sit down to piss.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I imagined someone ripping a fart at the urinal.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Happens all the time, nothing to be ashamed about.

Would be a little uncomfortable if something solid comes out though.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

So pissing while farting sucks but farting while pissing is OK?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Do you drop trou and stand in front of a toilet every time you need to toot the flesh whistle?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah the top one is accidental so if you're farting you're probably still wearing your pants

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I always put down my pants when I fart.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Farting in the office must be doubly awkward.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

and aim at the ceiling. we call that room "pollock's corner"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Same for shitting/pissing.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Ah yes, I often shit while I shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Sometimes you think youre done and as you go to wipe, guts are like "but wait, theres more!"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

That's a matter of opinion.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

The picture doesn't do justice to the evil that is sharting. Especially in the middle of a long run.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I honestly think I’d rather shit myself while farting than piss myself. If you shit yourself you can hide it and clean up. If you piss yourself everyone can see.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I feel like you're overestimating your ability to subtly shit yourself.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And the smell. And the potential liquid.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Yeah, sharts aren't exactly known for being a solid log.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Nobody shits themselves with a solid.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I haven't stopped shitting for the last... checks watch twenty two years. Any combo is nice. The triple is a beaut

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Center bottom is all wrong. Should be this:

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Shitting turns out to be the most hazardous activity of the trifecta.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

A remarkable example of a non-Hermitian operator

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