Find out her favorite food, eat it for three days and fart next time you’re near her.
The familiar scent will make her fall for you.
this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
249 points (98.4% liked)
Greentext
4464 readers
1333 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Shit people say on lemmy
Shit people ~~say~~ smell on lemmy.
im in looooove!! 💘
You smell the Mountain Dew Baja Blast?
Because that was for you.
This is the kind of reasonable take I come here for.
That how you fell for Satan?
>new job
>no clue what duties are
>manager out sick with severe oral chlamydia
>ask coworker
>smells like a sweat sock doused in ammonia
>nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma
>somehow surmises I’m trying to smash
>grimace.wave
>I silently retreat
>still need money
>surveillance is the only route forward
>surreptitiously watch coworker
>they never notice
>gradually learn how to use the register
>discover job duties
>uncover weed stashes
>encounter the cum room
>my picture above a desecrated bucket
>cease hiding my reconnaissance
>they cease visiting the cum room
>still sneaks peeks at me
>bust them for weed stashes
>work suddenly feels safe
>feelsgoodman.png
">nearly burst into treats upon entering their miasma"
Nice try, piñata person, I bet you thought nobody would notice?
she keeps glancing at me
I stop looking at her all the time
hmmm
OP discovered women have eyes and use them to look at people.
Big if true
It's not, don't fall for the propaganda!
Probably hes staring at her and what hes seeing is her noticing him staring at her. Anon is indeed a fucktard.
>tries to help out at new job
>immediately gets hit on by neckbeard coworker
>he wont stop staring at me all day
Guys don't be like anon.
Seriously? From the story, anon did everything right.
Saw potential interest, acted on it in a nonthreatening way, when no positive response came, took it as a rejection and did not harass or continue pursuing.
Anan is having an episode again and talking to mannequins
Absolutely the follow up to this green text. Anon works in clothes store haha.
Talks about how she let's him dress and undress her but never responds to date requests
Obviously anon is a fucktard.
That being said, the situation isn't unrealistic. It's always amazing how people can misread eye movements.
So, if I'm in that kind of situation, my first thought is to look around and behind me. Could be there's something nearby that's drawing attention. You know the trope of seeing someone waving and just automatically reacting like they're waving at you, even if you don't recognize them?
It's the same kind of response. We're semi trained, and semi instinctually driven to respond to established social cues in kind. Someone waves, you wave back. Someone extends a hand for a shake, you respond with your own hand, sometimes even when you don't usually shake hands.
Anon there could just be misreading a cue that isn't directed at them.
Or, and this is more likely, anon sees pretty lady, and is glancing at them frequently. This can happen without really being aware that you're doing it, our eyes tend to move around without conscious intent a lot more than people realize. Pretty lady is reacting to anon's glances.
And that's ignoring any of the tiny movements we make without paying attention that can draw the eye. You rarely think about something like adjusting your posture when you're focused on something. You move, pretty lady catches movement, her eyes and head move, you catch that motion and glance towards them.
We all engage in little dances like that, often without ever realizing it's happening. Minor shifts of body and head as two people share space that are essentially meaningless, but mimic things that do have meaning.
Depending on the kind of work involved, it can get very complex, and still be utterly unconscious.
Nice try OP.
Communication. How does that work?
You have one brief interaction and then spend the next two eternities pondering what that was, draw all sorts of baseless conclusions without attempting to contact the other person to ask for more information. I'm very good at it, been doing it for 30+ years.
What you don't just hyperventilate when a member of the opposite sex smiles at you? What are you doing on this website, you're weirdo
I got to love 4chan because it just reminds me the fact that I'm a catch, apparently.
Catch?
Rooted from "plenty of fish in the sea" and fishings "catch and release" fishing. It's common to have maximum catch limits while fishing, so you will release fish back into the water if you do not intend to keep it. A catch is anyone that you intend to hang onto, or state steadily. This user is saying they are valuable to date.
i think he means he plays baseball and always catches the ball
>sort of tried once.
>haven't talked directly to her.
>gave up.
why isn't this working?
How many tries are too many tries?
cross the starting line before giving up, i always say
Err on the side of taking requests at face value, especially at work and at first.
Walk up to her, get down on one knee and propose to her.
She says yes as the entire company claps in unison.
be me have no idea what this "contractual awareness" thing people keep talking about is new girl has no idea what she's doing and keeps looking at me she could want me to train her she could think I look sketch and is keeping an eye on me she might just be starting into space nah she must want to date me apparentlynot.jpg screw her then, I've got shit to do weirdo is still looking at me
What is "contractual awareness"? I googled it and it just seems to be talking about contact law?
Contextual* probably. Which is funny considering the context
Ohh, that makes sense. Perhaps I could've figured that out if I'd had any.
Roast her
Time traveler. Gotta be.
Anon does not mention his smell, weight, and severe acne.
Ain't that the girl from Terrifier 2?