Gullible

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 hour ago

Thanks, I grew it myself

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

I dunno, are you manually verifying? Most people will let you audit their hygiene with a polite request.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait, really?? Looked it up to be certain and they seem not to normally produce multiple pineapples. Treasure that sucker, literally and metaphorically. You might have a million dollar plant on your hands!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Congratulations! The wait must have been agonizing! Are you going to replace them with fresh suckers after the harvest?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Cheaper to make your own protein concoctions with Costco quantities of milk for whey and acid whey. Bonus: byproduct is your choice of a pound of mozzarella or Greek yogurt.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

"I'm sorry for the offensive language. That's all it was. It does get me upset when I listen to the news and they attack President Donald Trump. He's a good person and he's done a lot for this country and the veterans." After his sentencing, Grant C. Jaquith, the United States attorney for the Northern District of New York, said in a statement, "Racist threats to kill present and former public officials are not protected free speech, but serious crimes."

This one was my favorite read

[–] [email protected] 109 points 2 days ago (10 children)

Never have I seen so few fucks given over assassination attempts.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

“The AI has long since exterminated black people, bars, cumin, and parks, yet it continues to recommend that we arrest anyone who purchases flavor aid and chicken. Barbecues, as we knew them, are as dead as the root of its prejudice against them. On the bright side, white people have never been more free to do cocaine, the economy booster™”

Relying on AI to provide a naughty list is a horrific idea.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

I’m not gonna do punch anyone but I’d unrepentantly nullify any nazi punching trial jury i end up on. If the movement develops legs that carry it in the wrong direction, I’ll cease supporting it. For now, I’ll grin at the pain of the deplorables.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, the taliban was always going to take over. I can’t feel aggrieved over an eventuality and someone acting on its presumption. The government of Afghanistan was like three drunk gentlemen and a thousand scarecrows.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago

Would you vote for a petulant octogenarian con artist with several rape suits? The party of “family values” hopes so.

21
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Long shot but I hope someone might know. The channel hosts parodies of superheroes and superhero tropes through the medium of motion comics and is characterized by its dry humor and sarcasm, reminiscent of the channel “How it Should Have Ended.” Videos often involved a competent woman parody of Superman acting alongside their equivalent of the justice league.

The channel, despite not broadly advertising this fact, hosts exclusively English translations of their main channel’s videos. (Original channel may be in Portuguese, Spanish, another language common in south America?) While the English translation channel might have stopped posting ~7 years ago, the main channel would have continued posting content for a year or more.

Really, I’m looking for a specific video wherein a spy (possibly a parody of black widow but I can’t recall) is looking to complete their mission while their operator ceaselessly suggests additional members for their team, lampshading the “spy by accident” genre with ever more absurd assertions and justifications for the spy to reject. It takes place in a fancy dining room setting. One suggestion is a chimpanzee and another is a waiter, referencing Jackie Chan in Tuxedo. It was a surprisingly complete deconstruction and I’d love to reference it.

 

Secondarily, should the fan be outside or inside the window?

Asking for a friend. (Me, help. I can’t remember physics, it’s too goddamn hot)

Edit: I’ve opened all the windows and set up a fan a short distance from the window pointing out and it’s reduced the temperature to near-tolerable levels. Unfortunately, venting through the attic was a no-go but moving things aside might make it an option next time. Thank you all, I appreciate the help!

394
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[panel 1: A small, bespectacled man sitting at a table takes a bite of pancake. Their glass is filled with golden liquid, matching the color of the dog staring over the edge of their table. Their eyes lock.]

[panel 2: the dog’s tail shifts into overdrive and its eyes pleadingly grow to the size of saucers.]

[panel 3: the man grins and hoists a pancake above their canine companion. Its eyebrows arch and body quivers.]

[panel 4: the man releases the pancake and it stops with a soft plop atop the dog’s head.]

[panel 5: the dog searchingly turns toward the noise, pancake still resting between its eyes.]

[panel 6: the dog’s brows lift in grief as it turns right, continuing to helplessly investigate the mystery of the missing pancake.]

 

[panel 1: a cartoonishly drawn child wearing a pink t-shirt and black spandex shorts sits on a grassy hillside, nearly resting their back against the verdant scene. They put their weight on their elbow and pluck a flower from the grass with a smile.]

[panel 2: they lean over the flower and, whilst plucking petals, say “Loves me… Loves me not… Loves me… Loves me not…”

[panel 3: they point at the flower and focus their attention further.]

[panel 4: their finger wags at the petals as they enumerate and whisper “Loves me… Loves me not.]

[panel 5: they sit up and glance about to see if anyone is watching]

[panel 6: they simultaneously tear off two leaves and say “Loves me…”]

[panel 7: the flower shouts at the now sobbing child, “HEY, HEY, HEY. NO CHEATING! YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE NOT LOVED!”]

869
Timeless (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[panel 1: a large dodo approaches a clean, well dressed vagrant youth sat beside a well fashioned wood and stone building. The youth warily guards a bag holding their belongings and the stick they use to travel with it. The dodo asks “Pardon me, do you have the time?” and the youth replies “yes, it’s -“]

[panel 2: the dodo exclaims “You have the time!”]

[panel 3: a quartet of dodos appear and excitedly chatter over one another: “He has the time.” “The time! he has it!” “At long last! Our desperate search is at an end! The time has been found!”]

[panel 4: they lean in amongst one another and whisper “PSSHHWSSSSPTT SSHSSHHPSSTT”]

[panel 5: the group approaches the youth and asks “Will you… give us the time?” And the youth replies “It’s nine fifteen.” The dodos exclaim “AAAAAHHH! NOW WE HAVE THE TIME!”]

Wondermark by David Malki

1
When god gives you lemons (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]

 

I’m trying to submit a direct link on lemmyshitpost but not one of my attempts has yielded a direct image link that actually plays the giffeo.

The gif

https://imgur.com/6VfBQfa

Links I’ve tried so far:

https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa (obviously not right) https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.gif (doesnt play) https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.webm (doesn’t load)
https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.gifv (doesn’t anything)
https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.mp4 (nope)

Anyone know how to direct link to an Imgur giffeo?

40
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]

 

No.250341473
>fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures
>still using horses as main transportation

No.250341651
>>250341473 (OP) #
>setting has nuclear energy
>still using coal as main energy source

 

No. 16346143
[a photo of a tall, cylindrical white boiler and a short, blue furnace in a brightly lit brick walled basement. A mess of silver pipes extend from and above the pair and a thin puddle encircles them.]
okay /x/, l've got something to share with you
>be me
>last night
>lying on couch, watching some tv show
>shitty weather, raining and cold after 3 weeks of unbearable heat wave
>all of a sudden I hear someone inhale and cough
>shit my pants at that moment since I know that I'm the only one in the house, girlfriend is pulling night shift
>turn down TV, can't hear anything
>shrug it off as sound from TV or my mind playing tricks, it was pretty late
>10 minutes later I hear footsteps
>ohfuckmyfuckinglife.jpg
>now I'm 100% sure that I'm not alone in the house
>jump up, turn on the light and run to the hallway to get my bat
>i grab the bat and start checking rooms
>light from hallway is illuminating parts of kitchen
>notice dirty tracks that lead to the basement
>6 feet away from where I was lying
>ohmyfuckinggod.webm
>slowly open the basement door
>there's no fucking light down there
>go to get a flashlight
>return with flashlight in one hand and a bat in the other
>slowly go down the stairs
>I can hear something rustling in the far corner of the basement
>someone is breathing heavy and digging through stuff
>I stand near the boiler
>peek around the corner and I can see tall figure standing illuminated by the dim light of a street light from small basement window
>scared shitless I turn off the torch in hopes he wont notice me
>he was tall, I'm 6,2 and he was taller than me
>anyway, as I was standing near the boiler I noticed that it was leaking all over the floor
>has anyone had that kind of a problems?
>can I repair it myself or do I need to call a repairman?
>pic related

No. 16346909
>>16346143 (OP)
Spray some flex seal on it

 

That's not all they do
>Be at home very early one morning, only my brother and I are awake, pitch black outside
>Dogs are out (an idiotic water pointer and a fat beagle)
>Beagle starts baying, pointer starts whimpering
>l open the door for them, they don't move, both looking at one section of the porch, frozen
>step outside, turn on the light, my brother thinks its a burglar, is carrying the fireplace poker
>Opossum hisses
>Beagle bays again, pointer hides behind me
>Brother freaks, swings the poker, hits me in the head
>I go down
>Opossum hisses louder, starts shitting everywhere
>I'm shouting
>My brother's shouting
>Beagle passes out
>Pointer tries to hide behind my prone body
>Opossum waddles back into the woods
>Shit and blood are everywhere

Not even once

 

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go.
>Be me
>Be about a 6/10
>Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends
>Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me
>Look up and a 9/10 is running after it
>Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves
>Become very good friends
>Eventually begin dating
>Fast forward about two months
>New girl moves in
>eh about a 7/10, would boink
>Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl
>New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd
>Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous
>Fast forward two more weeks
>Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch
>Fast forward 4 days
>Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again
>wtf.jpeg
>Fast forward one more week
>Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried
>Random knock on my door, Its the cops
>Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them
>Say yes, getting more worried
>Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy

TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

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