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As a parent, you have to think of yourself as a tube of toothpaste.
You get emptied, and you think, "That's it." But there's more to do and no replacement for you so you slide the tube along the side of the sink to squeeze the last drops from the bottom.
Then tomorrow, when it's REALLY empty, you have even more to do and you roll up the tube and crush the cap area to get another bit out of yourself, and you squeeze that out.
THAT'S parenting.
I don't have kids and I look at parents and I honestly don't know how they do it.
It's hard enough taking care of myself.
How parents take care of kids on top of everything else is a mystery to me. I assume you all get magic powers like Hermione did in the second or third book to go back in time.
You’d be surprised what you can accomplish when you have no choice, like surviving the wilderness when stranded, or choosing your least favourite sock when there’s no more TP.
This is amazing and accurate to how we feel.
The 40 hour work week was a goal set by people working way more brutal hours, not infrequently 7 days a week. People fought really hard for decades to change it, and when I say "fought" I mean literally. Many of them were murdered by the state or corporations for it. But they got there.
May I introduce you to the 4/4/4 movement?
That third weekend day would probably still get eaten up by kids and chores.
Yeah man i get you.
When I was a kid to mid 20s and had nothing to do I'd sleep all day and game and skate all fucking night and time just seemed to drag like molasses.
Now in my mid to late 30s I'm busting my ass every day to make life happen and there's no real moment to stop. I got used to it but I totally get why people wake up at 8am every day...I have shit to do. If I don't go to bed at midnight I'm a mess the next day.
The recent long weekends have made the 5 day week feel long and the 2 day weekend feel short.
I think it's supposed to get better after the kids get a bit older. You get more time to yourself as they get more independent. I'm in no rush tbh. Life is wicked short I don't need it to go any faster.
I have a 4 day work week, at some point I tried a 5 day work week, within a year I was depressed and gladly accepted a 20% paycut to got back to 4 days
Yea, I think there's likely something that objectively makes sense to the 4 day work week. If you want actual time off that feels like it's yours ... 3 days feels like a bit of a minimum ... that middle day with a buffer either side feels like it's untethered to the work-week, something that 2 day weekend does not give you at all.
Vote for me. 30-day weekend policy.
I say we should add Monday to the weekend and then also have a mid-week break with Wednesday and Thursday off.
I work a 4/3 schedule, which is far better for the extra day, but it's still not enough... There's a tantalizing 7/7 possibility murmuring about though
Dude across the street does 7/7 he took one week of PTO and went to Texas.
That one week of PTO got him 3 weeks of paid time off. Just amazing.
The Weeknd is even shorter.
He can't help it. But yeah.
I became a stay at home parent and we’ve been able to reclaim our weekends. 90% of the cleaning gets done during the week, so we have time to actually do things as a family. It also gets easier as they get older. Physically anyway. Just hang in there.
I hate how this got so shittted on and now nobody even makes enough money for it anyway.
It is not fair that both people need to work when kid is tiny. Kid needs a parent around at that stage but we don't support parents in this country in fact we like to fuck them
I know a number of families with one parent working. They just chose differently. They don't have a massive, expensive house, they don't vacation in Disney, they don't have brand new cars, nor expensive cars, the kids don't have the coolest gadgets, etc, etc.
They just chose differently than other people.
That's anecdotal and I didn't imply it does not happen.
We do know it is not very prevalent though not sure on stats.
Also, one person still has to make enough money for support 2-3 dependants. That's inherently would require a decent income or paid off house...
Congrats on the one parent with enough income to do that but that's not reality for most people...
This is us. We often have to make sacrifices that our friends and family don’t (seriously don’t understand how people afford to eat out all the dang time and go on so many vacations) but it’s worth it.
Edit: as an example, my 10 year old nephew has a brand new iPad and just got an Apple Watch. Meanwhile, we are holding out as long as we can to replace my wife’s busted old tablet and can’t ever imagine spending money on a smartwatch when we have phones. Obviously not everyone has this privilege that we do and I am thankful for it.
And I’d bet dollars to doughnuts you wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s exhausting, but oh so worth it. Make sure you and your partner make time for each other. It’s too easy to lose yourselves to the kids, and that can hurt a relationship. Even if it means extra screen time or an early bedtime for the kids, do something for yourselves.
PSA: having children is not mandatory
Having kids is a scam and you're trying to convince yourself you're not a sucker.
Where exactly do you expect the next generation of people to try and improve the world is supposed to come from?
What is your plan for care as you age and your body fails? It's not the responsibility of children to actively be the caregiver, but you at least need someone of sound body and mind to be an advocate for you and ensure you aren't being screwed over when you can't look out for yourself anymore.
Inb4 the inevitable "I'll just kill myself before I get old" shit. Good luck with that with no easily available, reliable, and painless ways to do so.
I don't owe this world a kid. If the country needs more children it should use my taxes to encourage people to have children. If they do it well enough I might have a child myself.
Find stuff to do that you can do with the children that you genuinely enjoy doing and not just bc the kids like it. I for example started getting good tools to build advanced sand castles. I enjoy doing it I have more possibilities because of the better tools and the kids live it as well.
I see what your getting at, and I like it, but if I'm off building sand castles, who is doing the laundry, cleaning and food prep for the week?
You want one more of the two busiest days of the week?
Yes, because those are the days where I can spend time with the people I love, even if it's packed with stuff to do.
Even if my work colleagues are nice people I would easily replace one day with them to a day with my family every week.
Yup...
I work a highly variable schedule that usually sits around either 3-4 days on and 3-4 days off. 3 days off is okay but a little too short to really relax. 4 days is perfect. Anything over 7 days off and I start getting bored of not working.
I worked 6/7 days of the week for over 10 hours X day at times for almost 4 years. With something like 21 days of holidays X year. I dunno what to tell you except you're lucky.
And I still live with my mother btw.
There's enslaved people working 12 hours a day 7 days a week all over the world under the threat of death. I dunno what to tell you except you're lucky.
Do you feel better now? No? Then you must see why that's a shitty thing to say. No need to one-up someone's struggle
You just missed the point completely. And enslaved people is a completely different issue so no, your comments make no sense.
Allow me to rephrase on their behalf:
Saying "I have it worse" makes no one feel better.
What point did I miss?
Your mom makes no sense.