this post was submitted on 29 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 147 points 5 months ago (5 children)

The popemobile is also bullet proof, to... erm... supplement the power of prayer.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

Usually I’d call someone like that a hypocrite, but considering he took two bullets… I understand why he wouldn’t want a repeat of that experience.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Weirdly “it’s gods will” doesn’t apply in this case.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I mean it does, god wanted him to get shot twice and survive and then build a bulletproof popemobile to not get shot a third time.

God's will is a pretty ironclad argument as long as you don't really believe in free will, or at least believe that God is powerful enough to know how every decision will be made in spite of free will.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Why did god want the pope shot?

[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"God works in mysterious ways"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (4 children)

God wanted a popemobile. Q.E.D.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

What does God need with a ~~starship~~ popemobile?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

To teach him that dignitaries on display are vulnerable to snipers

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

To make him holy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Probably for covering up all those pedophiles.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Also...he took two bullets, if his God wanted him dead he had the opportunity.

It's like the question of why wear a bulletproof vest if you're immortal, it's not like divine protection stops bullets from hurting.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

So his god wanted him to be hurt, why then the popemobile? Why interfere with god's will?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Something something "God helps those who help themselves." Don't think too hard about the cognitive dissonance, they sure aren't going to.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Did you hear the story of the man on the roof of his house when it was flooding? I think that was a west wing bit… God wants you to have a bulletproof vest.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

That joke’s pretty much as old as time, with lots of versions.

And for those who don’t get the reference:

https://youtu.be/06dQaOZIcH0?si=6TX5aRn9PRbuf1kX

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

ahem The deity he follows says that he should turn the other cheek and not only allow it to happen again, but to happily and freely provide the opportunity. You can still call him hypocritical.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

To be fair, that was advice for nonviolent resistance against the state, in a context where slapping someone's other cheek presented social difficulties to the oppressor. In order to slap someone's other cheek you had to use your unclean left hand, disgracing yourself by vulgar behaviour, or use a forehand slap with your right hand, which implicitly acknowledges the victim as your social equal. Turning the other cheek is a great way to fuck with the Romans.

The New Testament is full of practical advice for anarchist Jews to use against the state.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Why didn't his god protect him?

Was it the kiddie fiddling?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

So god called him twice and he didn't answer.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Maybe someone prayed for it to be bullet proof and Big Papa had no say in it?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

God helps those who help themselves! (In other words, he does nothing.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Some men think they can outsmart me. Maybe. sniff Maybe. I've yet to meet one that can outsmart boolet.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

tbf some recent-ish Pope got shot in the ribs, so it's probably to prevent that happening again

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Could just pray not to be shot. No bullet proof glass necessary. Easy peasy. Am I christianing right?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (3 children)

You're definitely being insufferable right.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago

I'd say the undignified part is sitting atop a family car in a custom made box that simultaneously looks like he's being exhibited to an alien species and he's about to get gunged by Dave Benson Phillips.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Every time I hear the term "popemobile" I think of the 1960's Adam West Batman.

"Quick, Pope Man! To the Popemobile!"

Transitory sound effect with spinning cross swipe

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na POPE MAN!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

His villains would be the The Reddit Atheist, and anti-pedophile activists.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I think of Ace and Gary's penismobile from Ambiguously Gay Duo

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Gay slurs are perfectly dignified, though. It's definitely the car that cost him respect. (I know, different pope. Still, though.)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I know, different pope. Still, though.

Still what? You're judging one person on the statements of a completely different person. How is that logical?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, I don't do "logical" when it comes to flippant remarks directed at pedophile apologists. Nothing about the Catholic church is "logical." Am I lashing out in anger? Yes. Is that anger misplaced? Frankly no, I don't think so.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I mean they claim to communicate directly with God so they can be judged with similar logic

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

On June 6, 2007, a German man tried to jump into Benedict XVI's uncovered popemobile as the pontiff began his general audience. The pope was not hurt and did not even appear to notice that the man had jumped over the protective barrier in the square and had grabbed onto the white Fiat popemobile as it passed. At least eight security officers were trailing the vehicle as it moved slowly through the square. They subsequently grabbed the man and wrestled him to the ground, before he was interrogated by Vatican police.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Popemobile

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Bullet proof glass, security goons. Why all this when prayer would keep him safe? Perhaps the pope only pretends to believe prayer works? Christopher Hitchens said he met with top clergy several times and they openly discussed with him they knew it was all bullshit. When asked why they chose to preach known bullshit they said its what the parishioners expected and they felt it was mostly "good" bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Do you remember any source for Hitchens on that, like a book or speaking event? I’d enjoy hearing more about that specifically.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

"Well, it's all bullshit, but as long as I'm in power, you have nothing to worry about" -every religious leader ever

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

It was comparable to a PT Cruiser with an aquarium botched on. One could confuse it as part of a mobile dog wash fleet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

If I was driving around in a Fiat Homer, I wouldn't worry too much about what people call it. Especially not if I was also wearing such a ridiculous hat..

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I wish I could pull that hat off. You gotta actually live the pope life though. People can see through that shit too. “Why you wearing that hat? You ain’t no poper!”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

People trying to pull the Pope's hat off is one of the reasons why he rides around in the Popemobile.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I thought it was open on the sides because I guess one of the popes wanted real interaction or something. *Oh wait is the glass only halfway? Needs more jpeg.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

looks to me like its half full of water, best for moisturizing lizard skin.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

If he wanted it to be dignified then he should have put a lot more thought into its design.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

"There's the pope sitting in the trailer bed of that pick up"

Is this the dignified option he wants? It's certainly accurate.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

DopeMobile..

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Mr Show had an awesome opening sketch regarding the popemobile back in the day. They were way ahead of their time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Just admit that you've always called this the Poopmobile.

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