this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 87 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I was about to come here and rant, but then I read it like 2 more times.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Right? Don't scare me with a headline like that. Might as well have started it: Keanu Reeves, 59...

[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago (2 children)

59? SHUT UP!!

He looked like he was 30 in the matrix... which was......ohhh 23 years ago

Nobody give a mirror.....

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

hands you a mirror

Yes I play a evil character, why do you ask?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Well not today Satan!

I have a headache maybe tomorrow or Saturday

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Keanu Reeves, 59, will be 60 immediately

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Man don’t scare me like that

[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Trying to give me a heart attack

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the last one I could find. Lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I swear you’re trying to kill me

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I want people to accused me of extremely appropriate behavior... 😭

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hey, watch it Margot. This comment is extremely appropriate.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

No, you're breath-taking!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

More than appropriate with all your obvious physical disadvantages.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I think my brains and comedy skill more than made up for them though.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"Multiple actresses accuse Keanu Reeves of" NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! "extremely appropriate behavior" Oh... based

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I too had a panic

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Ok but what is extremely appropriate behavior?

I'm just picturing Keanu Reeves acting like Ned Flanders but with a face of hemorrhoid passing determination.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

He spoke settlingly aptly and moved as only a being of pure properness could. Nearby cast members were accused of sexual harassment by sheer contrast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

An extremely appropriate man wears an extra medium shirt.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Keanu Reaves, star of the Matrix series and John Wick, has pie, aged 59

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Keanu Reeves, star of blockbuster thriller SPEED and historical documentary Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, among others, admits inappropriately touching A Minor chord on electric keyboard when the sheet music didnt call for it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

thats an old pie

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Yeah had to read this like three times before I was placated

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

You had me the first two times.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Johnny Silverhand? Is that you?