Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
I used to work in a new age shop that sold rock salt lamps. A woman came in one time to complain about the lamp she bought.
Woman: My salt lamp was dusty and dirty.
Me: Okay...
W: So I took the rock salt off the base.
Me: Hmm?
W: And I washed it with hot soapy water.
Me: Ah.
W: And it just dissolved!
Me: Yep, it's salt.
W: I want a refund.
Me: laughs.
This has me wondering if art supply stores have people coming in complaining that their pencil ran out of lead when they were in the middle of drawing.
Aren't those things like the size of a fist? How long did she wash it for?!
I'm guessing it just lost all of the desirable texture of the crystals
Im thinking she either just ran hot water over it, or decided to let it soak, only to come back to sea water in her sink.
I'd like to subscribe to more new age shop stories!
You've been subscribed to New Age Shop stories. For just $1 a day receive a new story delivered every morning. Reply HELP for help, STOP to unsubscribe. Msg& Data Rates May Apply
I feel bad for people who have never licked a Himalayan Salt Lamp.
Yum.
Skin cells, dust mite shit and animal hairs.
Oh boy wait until you hear about breathing.
I find breathing to be better than not breathing.
Not licking the Himalayan salt lamp does not have the same effect.
Yeah but you can breath any time. This might be your last chance to lick that lamp EVER
It might be the last chance to try to insert the Himalayan salt lamp into your dick hole too.
Smell is based mostly on particulate. Anything you inhale gets at least partly broken down and absorbed.
Thus, if you smell a fart, at least some small part of your body is metabolising someone else's shit.
Yeah licking random objects in your house is a little unsanitary.
Thanks SatansMagottyCumFart
Why does it never taste like salt?
And why do I keep trying?!?
I think you got a dud. It absolutely should taste salty
my ass is installing linux on the first machine capable of having linux installed on it.
You are not safe, there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Your tinder date brings you into their home. While they are having a shower, you grab their laptop to install Linux mint cinnamon on it, but the Ventoy ISO wont boot. The track pad is greasy and crusted up with yellow stuff. Screen hinge is cracked. You boot it up to get your bearings. Windows XP, service pack 1. No password. 1 GB RAM. 32 bit CPU. Super PC clean is running. Blatant malware. No antivirus in sight. Internet Explorer 6 lumbers to the foreground. Fifteen spyware toolbars visible. Popups start flooding the screen. You look at the desktop, its littered with zip files with random file names. The mouse cursor is a pirate with a wooden leg. The CPU fan loudens to an alarming volume even though there's no programs running that you can see.
Do you:
Continue and try to install a 32 bit version of linux
leave silently, unmatch them on tinder, and block their number
Leave, but not before performing a mercy killing on the laptop
Nobody has ported Doom to a Himalayan salt lamp.
Yet.
This is your opportunity!
Had an annon grindr date try this on me once. Except I already had Linux on all my electronics. Hottest sex ever. Happily married for 6 years.
I would rather check under the bed in case there are knives.
Yeah if there are no knives we ain't fuckin
If you go to someone's house and they don't have an elaborate and named knife collection that they're oddly cagey about, don't fuck them
Why would I be cagey about my odd, elaborate and named knife collection? I've had most of those knives longer than I've known my wife. They're great. Not very much blood at all.
Gold karambit means she's wife material
no that means she's a csgo character
I'm going with neither.
are you sure you don't want to share an indirect kiss with all her past tinder dates?
Yes. I'm sure.
Join us we can all be one across time and also this lamp
If you really need to kiss me, do it yourself, coward. Don't rely on a nasty ass salt lamp /s
Same. That lamp has absolutely been licked before. You don't know by whom and you don't know how recently. If you're at least a tiny bit of a germaphobe, those statements should frighten you.
The high salinity should take care of any bacteria in short order. It may not be clean, but there ain't no bacteria on it!
tiny bit of a germaphobe
iirc salt is a has antimicrobial properties. So if anything, then licking that salt, will reduce the germs in your mouth. So a true germaphobe would be all over that lamp
If you're a germaphobe then surely you should know that 100% salt is enough to yeet literally any microorganism to the back of beyond; in fact anything over 30% is
That lamp is more hygienic than your dinner plate, more than the inside of any food package and infinitely more than your hands even after you've just washed them