this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
757 points (99.2% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
26821 readers
2820 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.
Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party
Me: FUUUUUUU...OK
Day of:
Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds
Broke out the cast iron skillet.
Started working out dough rounds.
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!
Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry
Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!
Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.
That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.
- Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
- Living space with one or more children
Pick one.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?
Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.
Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol
load more comments
(3 replies)
When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.
Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Bitch lasanyer
I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.
Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?
The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Is that troy "I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap ~~my~~ opposition staffers' bras" buswell?
Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.
Holy schneikes, his Wikipedia page's "Controversies" section is WILD
As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we've got going on over here. Doesn't make the situation any better, but it's nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too
Don't kid yourself, the rest of the world is still not quite as fucked up as the USA. But yeah lol Aussie politics is almost as dumb in a lot of ways.
Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. "STOP GRABBING PEOPLE'S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE".
Wowzers you weren't kidding, what a shitshow that dude is!
load more comments
(2 replies)
Been having a lot of lasanyer on shoe days lately myself. I feel ya Troy.
Please don't lasan'ya shoes!
That's a small fuckin' family you got there, buddy.
Judging by the looks of the lasanyer, they don't really like their family either.
That's a Stouffer's lasanyer if I ever saw one
That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.
Wtf is a lasyanyarer
Sounds like a giant robot from a Japanese anime.
One who lasanyas.
IANALasanyer
Frozen lasanyer is a trap! It's rigid going into the oven, but floppy coming out.
Skill issue
load more comments
(2 replies)
My family is a lot bigger than that
"Family size" is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy
It's not really about how it could feed a family, though it could
party size chips. all for meeeee
view more: next ›