this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
757 points (99.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26821 readers
2841 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (6 children)

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU...OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it's different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

It was Hellmann's and no, it was an absolute shit show. I was cleaning mayonnaise off the ceiling

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day