this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Username is tangentially relevant

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (7 children)

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

Me: FUUUUUUU...OK

Day of:

Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

Broke out the cast iron skillet.

Started working out dough rounds.

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!

Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
  • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  • Living space with one or more children

Pick one.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

Bitch lasanyer

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Is that troy "I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap ~~my~~ opposition staffers' bras" buswell?

Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Holy schneikes, his Wikipedia page's "Controversies" section is WILD

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Buswell

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is as true as calling Clarence Thomas "justice"

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we've got going on over here. Doesn't make the situation any better, but it's nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Don't kid yourself, the rest of the world is still not quite as fucked up as the USA. But yeah lol Aussie politics is almost as dumb in a lot of ways.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. "STOP GRABBING PEOPLE'S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Wowzers you weren't kidding, what a shitshow that dude is!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Been having a lot of lasanyer on shoe days lately myself. I feel ya Troy.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Please don't lasan'ya shoes!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's a small fuckin' family you got there, buddy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Judging by the looks of the lasanyer, they don't really like their family either.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

That's a Stouffer's lasanyer if I ever saw one

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a giant robot from a Japanese anime.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

One who lasanyas.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What were they doing with lasanyer near the wall with shoes

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

IANALasanyer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Frozen lasanyer is a trap! It's rigid going into the oven, but floppy coming out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Skill issue

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My family is a lot bigger than that

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Family size" is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy

It's not really about how it could feed a family, though it could

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

party size chips. all for meeeee

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