this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2025
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I am a shitposter – my posts are shit
Keep up the good work!
Ha, I make stethoscopes for a living. I can set one aside and listen to my balls any time I want.
(This person has one set aside, his very favourite one that they named it, and listens to their balls absolutely all the time at work.)
I have a stethoscope set aside, I grab my kitty, snuggle him till he's purring like an engine and then listen to him purr even louder through the stethoscope
Omg, I envy that!! <3
"Hey!! Give me a listen, it's my stethoscope!"
. . .
"Wait, are you trying to listen to your balls with your ass???"
Well duh. it's a waiting paradox: the longer you wait the closer to someone coming in. You have to immediately seize the opportunity to get it done before anyone comes in.
I ain't leaving my stethoscope around for you shitbirds to play with. I don't even let my coworkers use it
Then how will you listen for the testicular gallop
No that's why they don't leave it lying around. So they can listen to the testies and you can't.
Okay, I'm gonna be honest here: That's one thing that's never happened to me.
Lots of other... things, yes. But not that one.
How do you avoid getting caught?
Ah yes. That'd be luck. And sometimes, just seeking refuge in audacity. Just stare the doctor right in the eyes and say: "What? Don't pretend you haven't done it too."
Doesn't matter if it's true or not. He'll pretend it is - if he knows what good for him.
What if your doctor is a woman?
Bonus! She's totally done it too, and we all know it.
One way is to be me and have a nursing instructor for a mother. She had multiple stethoscopes and just gave me one to play with as a kid.
Also I've never been in a doctor's office where they left a stethoscope laying around, they always bring theirs in with them.
How does it feel to always know when the doctor is about to enter?
Anxious, but in a titillating sort of way.
Life hack to shorten doctors visits.
Just checking for infection of the perineum, doc!