this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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all 43 comments
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[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (2 children)

They say 12 and under but I bet a lot of them are like 1 or two, and you'll be wishing you had ordered more then.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Yeah but those young ones are just so fatty.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

It's just like veal!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Not even a rotisserie newborn?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago

Well, I wasn't planning to attend, but how can I pass up the opportunity to eat a child... I just hope it's one of those ethically sourced organic free-range children.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Soy free children for me, thanks....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry we currently don't have soy. Do you want children without something else?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Vaccinations....?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I'll have a triple battered deep fried American child covered in bacon and cheese

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

If you care about your health you should really opt for the Mediterranean child.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's horrible and disgusting!

Do you want to clog your arteries?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

if you start it out in a cold pan and gradually work the heat up, you'll be able to render a lot of the fat out while also getting a nice crisp on the outside. You can then conserve the fat for cooking with later, it makes for a great roux.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's not very healthy. Those have been rich in saturated fats for quite a while, but lately the lead content has also risen in more and more samples.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Don't forget the microplastics, god bless 'Merica 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So nice of them to consider the dietary needs of us baby-eating atheists!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 9 months ago

Must be the rsvp for the DNC amiright?!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

When the groom first offered the ring to his bride-to-be, it was a modest proposal.

(See if anyone gets that)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

In this corner of the internet, I'd be surprised if someone doesn't. But then they get to be one of today's lucky 10000

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

"Hey Debbie. I have a book for you."

"What is the book, Sparks?"

"A Modest Proposal by Johnathan Swift."

"What's the book about, Sparks?"

"Eatin' babies. Delicious babies covered in barbeque sauce. Mmmm!"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I'll have the baby back ribs

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

I prefer fried.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

smh, another non-vegetrian-accomadating place

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Tofu baby is available upon request.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

"Please let us know of any dietary restriction" would fit that. That said having only able to choose between two meats.... I would expect at least fish as an option.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

online food delivery

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

That's fine, we're all full of microplastics. And PFAS.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Conspiracy theorists will use this pic at proof

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I'm guessing there's two options for adults to choose from, but only one option for children. If you're filling this out for a child, you choose the "children" option to indicate that they'll have the entree for children. It's just structured kinda funny.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Theresa a really easy way to avoid this and it's called phrasing

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Danger zone?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Betting children get chicken instead of the good stuff!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

What do you do if you don't eat meat? Don't attend?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Or don't eat. I agree, it doesn't seem very accommodating

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

bring your own snacks.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago

A traditional Clinton wedding