this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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Summary

Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old DOGE staffer recently promoted to a senior adviser role in the State Department, is reportedly the grandson of former KGB spy Valery Martynov.

Martynov was executed in the Soviet Union after being exposed as an FBI informant. Coristine, an alleged former cybercriminal, previously worked in the General Services Administration and now has potential access to sensitive diplomatic data.

Concerns have been raised over his background and apparent lack of a security check.

The situation fuels fears about foreign influence in U.S. government operations.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 55 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Surely the fact that he's 19 and a senior advisor in a state department is more damning than his lineage? And that Trump is very obviously friendly with Putin?

I think this familial connection is just a storm in a teacup which is sitting inside a much larger storm.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

U know what I was doing at 19 years old? Nothing…nothing that counted as work. I won a bacon eating contest at college and played a ton of Mario Kart 64.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago

And that was very responsible of you. Wish more people would be participating in bacon eating contests over actively making the world a worse place. Please play video games and go have harmless fun. It's better for society.

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[–] [email protected] 143 points 17 hours ago (4 children)

Big Balls looks like a Connecticut boat shoe that came to life.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

He looks like a half dressed toddler. Nice of him to give everyone an immediate visual cue for what they’re about to deal with, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 14 hours ago

Maybe musk will start carrying him around.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 15 hours ago

That’s a wonderfully specific yet accurate description. Up you go.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

Sporting that bussin' broccoli top 🥦

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

"had to do it to 'em"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 13 hours ago

How the Hell does someone have a background as both a cybercriminal and a GSA employee at 19? I mean, sure, you can be a cybercriminal as an adolescent. But why is the GSA even hiring anybody that young at all?

[–] [email protected] 96 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

[slightly off topic]

I'm a native of the Northeastern United States and I've lived in numerous areas depicted in the media as being under the influence of 'organized crime.' To wit, Harlem, lower Manhattan, Hell's Kitchen, and Staten Island.

Actual tough guys never have nicknames like 'Big Balls.' Never. The guys you fear have names like 'the Chin,' or 'Bumpy,' or 'Legs.' Al Capone's buddies called him 'Snorky.'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure it comes from his twitter handle or something like that. I think it's more irrelevant/childish humor and less serious than it's made out to be. Plenty of people refer to each other by their online handle, and I don't think it's intended as a "nickname" in the conventional way. I have a friend whose UN is basically "dragonslayer42069" and people call him dragon. I don't think he chose that name so his nickname would be badass or anything. I think he thought it was funny when he made it and people just happen to refer to him as dragon. Plenty of memorable vulgar UNs on microblogs and forums are just there for some immature fun.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 31 minutes ago

You're losing sight of the fact that he and his boss weren't elected, haven't been vetted by Congress, and have zero experience.

His name is the least of his problems.

That's why my comment was [off topic]

[–] [email protected] 50 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Yeah street names are always an endearing insult

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I worked in construction and we used radios to communicate between crews. One kid insisted we call him 'AntDawg.' His name was Anthony.

It's started with 'Labradoodle.' He put up with that for two days before bitching he didn't wanna be Labradoodle. Everyone agreed it was too annoying over the radio, so we all agreed to shorten it. Doodle still hates his name.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Pilot's nicknames / unofficial callsigns often are as well, some kind of back handed reference to a fuck-up or troublesome character trait.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Off topic but it reminds me.

Astronaut Chris Hadfeild wrote a fun little thriller I quite enjoyed. The Apollo Murders. If the words "Soviet space pistol" stir your blood, you might want to check it out.

https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-apollo-murders-chris-hadfield/17339849?ean=9780316264631&next=t&next=t

[–] [email protected] 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Knew a pilot who's nickname was über. Last name? Guay.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I remember watching a show about Canadian fighter pilots as a kid, one of them got the call sign “Blow” because his last name was Jobin.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

There was a question on Reddit many moons ago asking fighter pilots what their callsigns were and how they got them. Not a single one was something to be proud of. The only one i remember off the top of my head was 'Squishy' and they got the name doing CAP over Iraq and had to use the bathroom in the cockpit...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

The exception to that is one I read about a few years back about a carrier based pilot. Callsign was S T A B which stood for shit twice and bailed

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

I like that one, haha.

Had to 'stabilize' his bowels, rofl.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe that's what this is. Like calling a fat guy slim, or a tall guy tiny. Maybe he's used to many steroids and actually shrunk his balls

[–] [email protected] 17 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Look at his photo... there's no steroid use there. He's just got a pair of undescended testes, they're missing.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

That's horrifying, wtf happened?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

A 23-year-old dubbed the Russian “Popeye” had three pounds of dead muscle removed after his DIY bodybuilding injections went awry.

Kirill Tereshin used petroleum jelly to build fake muscle mass in his arms. Before he underwent critical surgery, his arms were approximately 24 inches in diameter.

https://globalnews.ca/news/6198555/russian-popeye-bodybuilder-injections/

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 hours ago

Big balls attacks again

[–] [email protected] 76 points 18 hours ago

You can't even make this shit up...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 14 hours ago

America is Putins puppet. Musk is sitting in between getting richer while Trump does Russia’s wants.

Look at the Russian playbook. Look at the current U.S. playbook.

Insert image of “the office <they’re the same image>.jpg here.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

It is so sad how fitting this image is and will be for the foreseeable future.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (7 children)

I don’t get this angle.

So his grandparent was someone who on being exposed to the American way of life converted to the American side, helped America, and was killed by the Soviets for it. And they’re what, worried this previous generations pro-American views will somehow influence the kid today?

Go with them being a cybercriminal thing, not some bizzaro sins of the father nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

The angle is that the Overton window shifted so far right that the disagreement is now which foreigners (and secret, domestic foreigners) are to blame for the country's decline.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

It's the kind of thing you'd have to disclose before getting a security clearance. And the FBI would be the ones to decide if it's okay. Not Elon.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 minutes ago

If it was your parent, definitely. They don't ask about grandparents. I don't know there's a place on the SF-86 for you to insert this info.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

"Big Balls" huh. This is 100% the same situation as calling the dude that can bench a school bus "Tiny".

Looking at a photo, this dude definitely has a pair of undescended testicles. They're missing for sure.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

He's like a dog, but his balls never dropped.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

Department Of Greddy Elon Asshole Spy...DOGEAS

[–] [email protected] 10 points 17 hours ago (5 children)

There's plenty to go off here, but this is a stretch.

My grandfathers were an RAAF pilot and a South African Navy man. None of that has anything to do with what I am. I'd be unprepared if people started attacking me about such topics as I know almost nothing about them.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Counter point: KGB spies trained for the long con, having families, naturalising, bringing their kids into the system.

In most other things lineage like that doesn't matter, you're right. But this one time..

[–] [email protected] 7 points 15 hours ago

In this case though the KGB agent was killed by Russia for being an FBI double agent. This is a weird angle of attack. I HATE "DODGE" and this kid almost assuredly shouldn't be in the position they are, but for other reasons.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 16 hours ago

wtf are current events even lmao

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