Whatever the natives decide on tbh. Turtle island is popular but applies to the continent not the country
this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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Vespucciland
“Yucatán”
Which means “the end of your finger” because the Spanish asked some folks what they were pointing at and they didn’t understand the question
The birth place of Jesus
That's so Utah.
George Soros' United Commune of Mexifornia
Bonerland
Annex of Denmark
We have dibs. But I think we'd welcome another Whisky War ;-)
Denmark 2: American Boogaloo
Pants of Canada
Well, we’ve got Floridick ready and waiting, so that works, but I’m sorry about the itchiness and rash you’re gonna probably want to treat. We’re more like Canada’s Dirty Diaper these days.
Well pants is British for underwear, so it still works!
Shitstain
After Hispaniola they made a brief slave raid in the Bahamas, capturing 232 Lucayans, and then returned to Spain.[34] src
i think the cult would call him 'one of the good ones'
Returned to Spain? Traitor!
Hmm, idiocracy fits I guess. Seems to describe our country well enough.
Trumpland. Trumptopia. United states of Trump. Trumplvania. The new republic of Trump.
Just testing the "no wrong answers"
You missed Trumpistan
El Gabacho
Hell.
ing
"All hail the ing of ing! The land without a KKKing!"
Greenland... ing
Japaning
Australiaing
Taiwaning
Uniteding Kingingdoming
Congoing
...and Chinaahhuh... ...was once a great, uhh, eM, -ing but they lost their way to our holey grate ing-dumb...
- "ing out"
"Now gather all ing suffixes and affixes to kiss the holy kock ring. Don't be shyyy."
Columbo. Marybe Columbo's wife.
United States of America (temporary). America as a country isn't making it much longer anyway so no need to think about it too much.
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Slaves-R-Us
Actually, that's Africa. Africa is the birthplace of slavery. Also, unfortunately, every major civilization was built on the backs of slaves.
I'm not saying that we either invented slavery or are unique in benefiting from it. We've written a loophole for prisoners to be used as slave labor into our constitution and have the highest number of prisoners of any nation, we have politicians actively trying to create new laws adding more slave labor, and we've tied healthcare to employment and left per-Capita income so low that insinuating that the people who put food on your table are slaves isn't as laughable as it seems.
The reason I suggested the name is that we're the only "advanced" civilization that still directly relies on slave labor. I know that there are examples of other non-third-world countries that consume goods and services from sweatshops, but, as one of the world-leaders in consumerism, we arguably fund and keep alive the demand that necessitates sweatshops.
So, no, we're not unique in our slavery—just in our ability and willingness to sexy it up and slap some paint and labels on it that help us perpetuate it.
United States
There's actually debate over whether America was actually named after Amerigo Vespucci. My understanding is that it was likely just a coincidence that his name is so similar to America. As I understand it, it was actually named after a tribe of native Americans. But native Americans don't pass the Republican scale of whiteness, so they'll probably try to rename America anyways. I'm calling it now: they're going to rename it to Trumpia