this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 minutes ago

That's one big omlette.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 hour ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I need to put a lock on my chicken coup at this rate.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 13 hours ago (7 children)

Who has the ability to fence 100K eggs before they go bad?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

In the news today:

https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/04/food/waffle-house-egg-surcharge/index.html

Waffle House is placing a surcharge on every egg it sells

“The continuing egg shortage caused by HPAI (bird flu) has caused a dramatic increase in egg prices,” Waffle House said in the statement to CNN. “Customers and restaurants are being forced to make difficult decisions.”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Lol, "difficult decisions."

[–] [email protected] 31 points 12 hours ago

"I got a guy for that"

The guy:

[–] [email protected] 21 points 13 hours ago

This sounds like a line from Trailer Park Boys

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

Maybe start marking eggs with some kind of dye pattern to make it harder.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 12 hours ago

Bro I got hard boiled, cage-free, and century. I can get my hands on Balut but it’ll take a couple days, and it’ll cost you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

Someone who already has a buyer, most likely an industry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago

Give em to the poor

[–] [email protected] 65 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

In the dumbest timeline our future Mad Max style hellscape will be dominated by those who control the eggs rather than oil and gas.

We must prepare our bodies for the Thunderdome. Thunderdome is the new law!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

The Four Horsemen will be .... the Egg Man .... the Flour Man ... the Yeast Man ... all held together in an alliance with 'Oven Man'

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

What about the Walrus?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 12 hours ago

Don't forget the toilet paper man.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

The masks and biohacks alone will be brilliant!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

Vegans gotta be laughing their asses off rn

[–] [email protected] 30 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

That'll help the price go down...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Depends: in the most likely case, where the thief is someone who's trying to exploit the crisis to make a quick buck (just like Big Egg are), your sarcasm is accurate.

In the unlikely, but not impossible, scenario of this being an act of Robin Hood style vigilantism, though, this could indeed make the price go down as a bunch of struggling people suddenly get free eggs..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago

I can't wait to buy black market eggs!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

So we are stealing eggs, now? What have we become...

[–] [email protected] 38 points 14 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Everyone I know
fries some eggs in the end

[–] [email protected] 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

And you can't eat them all! My empire of eggs

[–] [email protected] 10 points 12 hours ago

I won't undercook

I will make you eggs

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 13 hours ago

A dystopian anti-intellectual society ruled by tech oligarchs.

Buy a gun.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 14 hours ago

I bet it was one of those criminal gangs from across the border we’ve been hearing so much about. We gotta send more troops to protect Pennsylvania.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

So millions of dollars worth

[–] [email protected] 13 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Joking aside, it was about $40k worth of eggs.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Huh, near me a dozen eggs is $9.50, so close to $80k worth of eggs at retail prices.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago

Eh, pallets don't sell for retail price, and stolen ones, well...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

100k eggs about to go bad.

You'd have to try to sell to stores and restaurant chains. ~~I'm guestimating that's 28 pallets of eggs.~~ Googling says 8640 eggs per pallet, so 11.5 pallets.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

It’s egg farmers trying to increase the price even further.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

Lol.

Get ready to see a lot more of this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

that's alot of do re mi