this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 217 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is not a zero sum game. there's no competition. We can deal with both problems, we don't have to pick a side.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well yes, and the starting point is by dismissing the myth that the double standards are not applied to everyone. They are applied differently, but it is not something that only affects one group of people.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Is that really a myth? Because it feels like the only time this point is brought up is to "dispel the myth", not the myth itself which I frankly can't recall having ever heard.

My theory is that it's actually a mix of angry dudes feeling excluded because they weren't explicitly included by women talking about their own struggles, and of the fact that men just generally don't talk about their struggles. So the coverage feels disproportional and the only time the subject gets brought up it's because some angry misogynist managed to weave it into an "us vs them" discourse.

Men's mental health is a huge conversation to have but it's extremely disheartening that in the mainstream conversation it always pops up through misogyny.
So in the spirit of actually doing something about men's mental health, here's some actual discourse on the subject

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm convinced the current influencer body standard for women (huge asses, giant lips, etc) was some joke by plastic surgeons and they just rolled with it

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Apparently anyone can become a plastic surgeon because I'd never get any sleep if I made people look like that.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 9 months ago (15 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

For sure a good six months of perfect training and diet, plus the steroids, AND the water manipulation.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I thought the T meant Testosterone, like TRT, Testosterone Replacement Therapy which is common for older men.

Like anything though, there's a fine line between use and abuse.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

and Amphetamines

yea bro we could actually get everything we would all look like that and all die at 50

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago

Me, spending 6 months fighting with (and losing to) body dysmorphia but not knowing what it was, since I'm a man and no one told me:

[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (11 children)

Dude I like seeing sexy people on tv. If I want to look at something mediocre I can just look in a mirror.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

You look mediocre? Lucky.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Has anyone ever said the first statement up there in the top-left? I wouldn't doubt there's some fringe group that would, but I also think they would be in the vast minority and you'd need to specifically go looking to find it. I dislike this kind of meme for that reason, it's sowing a divide that doesn't need to exist.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I have heard it regularly for a few decades now in person and media. When the dad bod picked up in popularity it was used as an example of how "men don't have to follow beauty standards" while ignoring all of the other expectations.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Last time I heard the term "dad bod", it was an article about how when they polled women for an example of one, the top answer was "Chris Hemsworth"

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, it's the water. That's the problem

[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Only part of it, but it’s kinda crazy that studios can go “hey, you need to literally dehydrate yourself for this shot so your veins and muscles can pop out more easily.”

But this is also the industry where Stanley Kubrick practically abused his actors and is a celebrated director, so…

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

To be fair you can make amazing movies and be a shit person

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Actors careers really seem to be at the whim of industry insiders. Harvey Weinstein was able to get away with his shit for decades.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

It’s a lot of things. It’s a diet so strict and regimented it controls your life, same for exercise, and then they dehydrate for days. Is the water why random person on Lemmy doesn’t look like that? No, that’s because nobody looks like that unless it’s their job to look like that or it’s their only hobby or they have serious mental health issues pushing them that way. But it is dangerous for most people to even try because yeah it involves a lot of risky decisions and they don’t even look like that all the time

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I've gone longer than 3 days without water and I look nothing like those guys. Wtf?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Have you tried hiring a personal trainer and using 'supplements'?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (11 children)

None of those guys have a healthy hard-worker or warrior body. They all have a dehydrated, 1% body fat gym bro body, just like Hollywood wants us to believe a healthy man looks like.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

blessed be the thor design from God Of War

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Apparently no one is allowed to have body hair.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What's weird is that hairy chests were considered the sexy style in the 70's and 80's, and then it suddenly changed. I blame Arnold.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Looking at what the young uns are wearing these days (and the resurgence of mullets), I would put money on chest hair coming back within the next decade.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Cavill almost always has chest hair. The only time I can recall seeing him without chest and stomach hair is in The Tudors.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This feels like "I'm 14 and this is deep" content.

It's obvious that all Hollywood, social media and advertising models are not the average person. Are there really people that think men would be exempt from this? I doubt many.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

did you expect "muscle & fitness" to have hugh jackman with the jumper on, or "good housekeeping" to have him tearing apart chores with claws?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

abandon all hope ye who enter this comment section

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

Robert Pattinson's physique as Batman was criticised by the mainstream (mostly by incels) as not being ripped and is skinny, even though experts say his body in "The Batman" is the most realistic built most men would be able to achieve.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Sure well defined muscles are aesthetically pleasing, but not nessa to be considered hot by most of the people you'll date

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Very true, in my experience lots of women like the idea of strength from big muscles but don't really care to see the striated muscle fibers in a cut look. Hell some are turned off by the vasculature of my hands.

EDIT: Guys in comic books are ripped for the dudes reading them. I imagine the same is true for movie stars.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

In case anyone is hoping to achieve the left side of the picture remember every one of the is on PEDs

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