Ask Lemmy

I worked in education circa 2000-2016, every age from newborn to 20-somethings, nursery, pre school, most school ages, teens, young offenders institutes.

Pretty sure I would be a good dad as I kept my cool even when i got stabbed in the arm

Wife doesn't want kids and I'm not that bothered either way. Happy to be "Uncle" to my friends' kids.

I have kids. I wouldn't trade them for the world. 90% of the time, they're fine. The other 10%, I'm so angry but I can't be angry for long because they didn't do anything I didn't do as a kid.

Hard to say if I regret anything. Too young and I would have struggled financially, nor was I mature enough. Too old and I would have struggled to keep up.

You're going to have a divide here. There's people who REALLY hate the idea of kids. Then you have the crazy-ass breeder religious folks who are so judgemental. Asking for validation from the internet about kids is silly imo. Everyone has a motive.

Rather than ask friends, family, strangers on the internet... Treat it like a lifestyle change. Read books about parenting. If that doesn't align with you, then you have your answer.

i would to adopt one

I'm a woman, and absolutely not. This world isn't going to be viable or have any positives for non-rich-as-fuck people, and I certainly can't give that to a baby. There isn't any more point to procreate - humans made sure of it.

No. No. No.

No, no, and no.

Same for my wife.

My only concern is the future Idiocracy of the world, but I don't think my having a kid would've fixed that anyway.

I have 2 kids. One bit and one girl. Wish I had a third, but I got snipped after 2.

I have 1 year old twins.

It's been a tough road all the way along. Years of IVF, complex and stressful pregnancy, some serious health issues at first. Everyone fit and well now.

It's kind of odd to be asked whether I regret anything. Like do I regret having an arm, or do I regret that the world is round.

I will say that it's a genuine privilege to be involved in their lives every day and to be with them when they experience things.

Didnt want kids had them anyways. Best decision ever if you are going to be a good parent to them.

Got two. Love it. Definitely a sad time in my life as they go off to college.

While I always wanted kids, I wasn’t convinced we were ready. But my ex pushed and she was right: we were as ready as we’d ever be and couldn’t afford to keep waiting.

Having kids, focussing on their future, helped me become more optimistic over time, more progressive, more accepting. It doesn’t matter whether I’ve got mine, or whether I’m uncomfortable with X, the only important thing is leaving a better world for them

I wanted more than two, and I think we were ready for it, but a combination of a late start and a medical crisis meant we ran out of time. We made the correct decision to not try pushing for more but I wish we didn’t have to.

Definitely going to be a challenge rebuilding my life now that I don’t have them to focus on.

I have kids, and for me they did improve my financial life by forcing me to go back to school and get a real job (so overall benefit positive even though they are an expensive project) and also parenting is by far the best work I've done in my life. They are mostly grown now and seem satisfied with their upbringing though it was rough at times. So overall yes very satisfied with my decision but - I always wanted kids, always knew I would raise some whether I could biologically have them or not, it was the only thing I really knew I did want to do.

I don't think there is a bad answer here - if you are good either way, you will be good either way. You will have a good life regardless. If you can share that with a child I personally think it's a good thing to do but in no way essential to a fulfilling life if it's not something you want.

I always wanted kids, but in my early years it didn't work out, but I was a stepdad, even after separating from the Childs mother, which I'm very thankful for.

Then for a long time I didn't have a partner, but in my mid 40's I married and have a two years old and another stepchild.

Because I always felt that I would be a fairly good father I definatelly don't regret it and being a father and stepfather just gives me even more meaning to my life.

But I would have been OK without my own children too.

No, I haven't met a person with whom Ibwould like to have children yet. Yes, I would like to have 2 or 3 children.

As someone who wants kids, this thread is very depressing.

I have a son that is the most important thing in my life. He is 2.5 now, but it took me a year to adjust to my new life, and I am shamed to admit that several episodes could have a been handled better. (No abuse, but daddy getting angry for a toddler being a toddler) It took a toll on the relationships too. Still does since tired people have shorter fuses.

Bottom line now is that he fills me with joy. Watching him learn new thing like how there ia fluff between his toes (and do dad have it too?) to how all water used for painting turns grey. How he practices being a ninja sneaking up on me (but can't contain his excitement and giggle) The texture of food, and how spaghetti sticks.

Of course you are tired and stressed, and the random pain from unexpected movements when dressing him, or from death dives on the couch is always there. But I would not trade him for anything.

no, no and no, but you will have to find an answer if your decision to have or not to have kids was the right choice in any case.

Having a kid has helped me learn and realize so much about myself and my life that I wouldn't have been able to learn otherwise. The same can be said about many of my other major life experiences. Sometimes I miss being alone and being able to do whatever the fuck I want, but I realize I'm still learning how to balance my life and seeing my child every day makes me happy (even if she is going through a hellion phase).

Not in this economy u.u

I have a young kid and about to have another one. I'm very happy with them. It's like I'm rising a puppy that can talk. I have a job flexible wfh work. So, I can take care of them with my partner.

The only downside are that I have a very small window of personal time, and I can't take too much financial risk as I used to, which is a good thing.

I think the decision making process behind having a kid is similar to the process when we decided to have a dog. You shouldn't have a dog just because someone push a pressure on you or something.

I would love to have kids someday, but we aren't financially prepared yet. I'm envious of people playing with their kids, or even just mundane tasks like taking them to school or going shopping with them on the back of their parents' bike.

Unfortunately, I expect the next administration(s) to make it much more difficult for same-sex couples like us to try for AI + surrogacy or adoption, so we might be forced to wait. Hoping for expanded surrogacy and child credits, but even just writing that feels foolish.

Absolutely yes. I just need a partner to have them with, which is easier said than done.

I have kids. I said I wanted them until it really hit home how much work it was. I didn't shy from the work though, and had 2 more. Now they are close to becoming adults and we are bonding over so many things. I would never do it again without them.