this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2024
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Only one time use.

Think of like world leaders, celebrities, ya know πŸ˜‰. Are you gonna make them do some embarassing things, or illegal acts.

My answer:

spoilerTake control of an NSA agent with access to the most powerful hacking tools, hack everyone's phone, install a program that randomly have a popup at random intervals, the popup message says "I'm watching you". This also tries to spread itself to any other phone it can connect to. Pure chaos 😈

Pretty sure I can do this in a minute, depending on how good the NSA tools are.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago (2 children)

take over Trump on inauguration day just as he's about to take the oath. claim the election was rigged in my favor by the Russians and everyone I know was in on it also that I'm (he) a Russian spy. call all magas mentally retarded and they should drink bleach to cleanse the world of their filth.

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

The best part of this would not be the act itself but the insane mental gymnastics that Americans would put themselves through to deny or justify it so as to result in, ultimately, no change at all.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

finally take a swan dive down the stairs and break my neck.

Think you'd even be able to get his feet off the ground?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

The human body is amazing and has limiters that stop one from pushing too hard.

in times of great stress an individual can push past those limits.

Every fiber of my soul would be screaming to get out of that sack of shit, even if it would blow out his ACL's, I would ensure that fatass would at least get 10 good inches off the ground.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago

Okay, I've had a nice nap, so here's the answer: I'd take over Putin's body, demand the nearest person's gun, and rid the world of him (Putin) once and for all.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Trump will take a hero dose of acid, there’s no other way

[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 days ago (5 children)

People are going to say Trump and Putin and all that shit, but I'm going to control my boss and have him double my salary.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Only thinking of yourself, tsk tsk.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

We're at a point in world politics where taking out one person isn't going to change much anyway.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Make the Pope announce his conversion to Buddhism (and declare it an infallible doctrine of faith, ex cathedra).

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Make Putin jump through a high rise window.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ah i see we think alike. Except i would have it during a live video and make it look like he 'accidentally' topped out. People would be like "he... he actually just fell out of a window"

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Wait til I know he's having a summit with KJU and blam him first, then any generals standing nearby, then self

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Lol, people would just think he got couped

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I would save it for an armed person protecting a full cabinet meeting after january 15th.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Fox news be like: "DEMOCRAT DEEP STATE ANTIFA SLEEPER AGENT..."

Edit: Btw inauguration is Jan 20, you got your dates mixed up

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

yeah better make it febuary just to be sure. thanks. that could have been a disaster if I had gotten superpowers or a genie wish.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Take over a billionaire and tell assistant to transfer 5m to real me and never mention it again or he will be fired.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

That's sus af.

Just set up a bitcoin wallet before you use the ability. Then take control of someone like musk, who definitely has some bitcoins, transfer all to your wallet.

Untraceable! (ish)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Very traceable, in fact. Do you know how bitcoins work?

The issue is when you try to spend the bitcoins. You'll eventually reveal some of your personal info when doing so, unless you are willing to work with the underground. Might go well, might end up with you in a ditch or a cell.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I can't login to my own Coinbase in under a minute, let alone someone else's.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Not a lot you can do in one minute. Maybe a tweet? so would have to take the muskrat.

"After a discussion with president elect orange turdball I will be shutting down X January next year, you can find me over on Truth Social"

Then sign him out of twitter from each device in range.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Have Trump take off his diaper on TV and say "my smol wee wee has poo poo on it, me sad"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

Are you trying to get him elected a third time?

Is supporters would eat that up. "He's just so brave and relatable."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Give it like a month and you won't have to waste your one ability use on this.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

That'd take more than a minute.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Takes Over NSA Agent

Logs Into Desktop

Clicks Start Menu

The End.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Take over Clearance and have him shoot kegStand. Based on the timing, the next 58 seconds can be a sick rant about guns.

If sleepy Joe is on the ball, he'll have two young replacements in mind.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

The person who approves or denies new shows on Netflix or something and then spend the next minute approving as many animated shows as I can.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Inb4 and during Trump + gun

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

As Netanyahu start screaming in to the nearest camera.

"This is the one true voice of God, Of course this man commits genocide! His final solution to Palestinians is to smite every hospitals, school and refugee until none remain! Those that help him kill shall be damned with him. Repent!"

Figure that is immposible for him to explain away and would end his support. Killing him wouldn't stop the killing, but discrediting him among the religious might.

Only downside is it would cement religion as a fact, but I guess if I got magic possession powers then it end my skeptical agnosticism about higher powers anyways.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The only people it would be ethical to use this on are those in permanent vegetative states... and myself.

I think I'd opt for one minute of true self-control. Maybe I could overclock myself or something. Never know until you try.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Best commenti ever!

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Some crypto bro bastard is about to lose their holdings...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Make this useless toxic twat at work do something so stupid she'd be fired immediately and never be able to get her job back.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

Probably one of musks 50 body guards.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I would control King Charles and have him order the dissolution of the empire.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Make someone kill me tbh

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