Asklemmy

I would not move across country without a firm job that can cover your expenses. Especially if you have no social network to support you. This is how lots of people become homeless.

So start there, look at where you can find work, maybe make some phone calls, send emails, etc. Then once you have a sense of how much you’ll be able to make you can look at what housing is available to you. But realistically, surviving in expensive places with the amount of money you currently make may be quite difficult. Keep in mind that many of the very lowest cost apartments you see may be scams.

Also, consider looking at some cities closer to home. There may be some pockets of lgbt friendliness in your region that you aren’t considering and they may be lower cost of living. The places you listed are all extremely expensive and not necessarily somewhere you can just move without a plan.

I know everyone hates Reddit here but once you start to narrow things down, it might be helpful to ask specific questions on local subreddits to get input from locals.

No offense, but is this move motivated by a true need to move ASAP? Because this doesn’t really read like it was written by someone in their thirties. Frankly, if it’s not a true need, it doesn’t seem from this post that you’re in a financial position to do this on anything close to a safe manner. And thus: if this is just a desire, no matter how strong the impulse is, it sounds like you need to wait.

I am not trying to be patronizing or condescending: I would just hate to see someone put themselves at the mercy of the world like it seems you may be about to.

SoCal resident here. Cost of living is much, much higher than many less-desirable places, so as others have said, it's absolutely necessary to have a job to move to before moving here.

Also, the WC states are not homogenous. "Red state California/Oregon/Washington" are as red as Tennessee. There's a big chunk of extreme northern CA that wants to secede. Same with eastern WA/OR.

Coastal communities are, on the whole, not occupied by narrow-minded DeSantis fans, but that's not an absolute. The more rural a place, the redder it is.

Sites like Coos Bay are fairly cheap by coastal standards, but there aren't really any jobs around there, and it isn't exactly West Hollywood for community life and things to do.

I've lived on East and West Coast in the US, visited most states and the places you mention in Canada, and I just moved from Washington to Maryland.

Realize that everything you listed as a preference is the same for millions of people. Lots of people like paddle boarding, nature, and the cities you are looking at, so those places are going to be expensive. Without knowing more about your acute needs to move I can only give general advice.

First, don't move without a job lined up or at least a plan in place. Look at college towns including in more states than you listed. They are more liberal on average, and have a baked in supply of people looking for roommates. Even older grad students are looking for roommates and are often quiet.

After that, look for things to minimize costs like public transit. You say south of Maryland, but that covers a whole lot including places with pretty bad public transit.

When you do move make sure you have any vehicle titles or purchase documents as you will need them to get new titles and registration. Update your insurance policy with your new address. Make sure you have your birth certificate, social security cards, and photo id so you can get a place to live and get your new state id. Make sure you know what it costs to do all of that (likely hundreds on the title, registration, new id). Even more if you don't have one of the necessary documents and you have to pay a notary to send a form to get a new title mailed to you.

Look at room mate apps or sites to potentially vet a low cost place you can move into more quickly than getting your own place and going through the credit checks and down payments for a lease.

And look at your credit to make sure you don't move just to find that you won't clear the checks they will perform.

Open a bank account at a bank or credit union with branches where you are moving to, or at least part of a no-fee ATM network. E.g., I can get cash from my credit union account without any fees from 7-11 and they are everywhere.

Make sure you have a few blank checks on your wallet for oddball expenses or deposits that don't take cards or have fees to do so. Have a little cash as well.

Once you have a job planned, costs figured out, make a spreadsheet. MAKE A SPREADSHEET! You do not want to move across the country to find that you didn't factor state income tax or vehicle registration costs and suddenly can't make rent. Include all likely costs and see if your budget has some wiggle for miscalculations and other issues.

Make a spreadsheet of all the tasks you need to do. Keep track of them because the details of moving will screw you hard if you don't mind them.

The more money you have while moving, the better you can solve problems. Hard truth for life in general.

If the above sounds overwhelming, then you need to plan all the more carefully.

Make sure you don't make unrealistic assumptions about the culture of where you are moving and get taken advantage of our targeted for violence. Even in the most liberal places there are places and people unfriendly to LGBTQ people. Don't be a victim.

Best of luck and happy to answer questions about specific cities, I've been to many.

A couple questions.

First, do you look identify as M or F, or other and do you project as such?

Second, other assets? Do you have a vehicle such as a van or truck?

Third, gotta be real, you don't sound like you can afford an out of country move. However, you might be able to do an out of state thing.

Fourth, how are your camping skills? Ever lived out of a backpack?

Number one, if you are needing to move ASAP, like actually ASAP, remember that it's cold in January. Moving any where north going to be an issue if you need to stay in your car or the woods for a night. I doubt any one here is going to advocate for it but I've done what you are describing more than once. I have to be real with you that the left coast is not the bastion of tolerance it once was. The red states having projected their culture into the rural areas has not been for the better.

That being said however, pockets exist. Check out the following cities: Eugene, Arcata, Bodega Bay, Weed, Olympia, Hood River, Flagstaff, Tucson, Willits, Sedona, Santa Fe, Taos, and Albuquerque. No where is perfect. Every where has issues. Generally speaking, I can vouch from personal experience that the above cities are "alternative lifestyle friendly", but ymmv.

Your best bet if you need to move now and only have maybe 1-3k in savings would be Albuquerque. It's cheap, and it's a gateway to some magical areas. Santa Fe is more expensive and Taos more hippy dippy, but both are much colder. If you are camping or staying in your car, much more difficult.

I was homeless and hung out with the rubber tramps and wing nuts for a few years. Also live out of my car separately, both with and without employment. I've hitchhiked most of the western states and pulled an "ok I gotta go" with not much more than a bus ticket more than once. Avoid large cities and suburban areas. They are expensive and the people there are very mean. Don't discount pockets of LGBT friendly places embedded in larger rural areas. Don't do drugs (even weed) or drink. Sharing bottles or pipes is how you get the crud and you can't afford to be sick. If you need to do drugs do your own drugs and don't share or announce it. It's mostly about not getting sick because if you get sick in the road, your fucked. Pneumonia under a bridge is not super great.

Going into winter, Southern Arizona or New Mexico would be my pick if I had to leave in January. If you can afford a Greyhound ticket and have some money for an apartment, you could probably afford ABQ. Might cost about a grand to get into a 1 bedroom pieces of shit.

Save up. Save save save.

Moving is expensive, and any new job is risky to start. The places you’re looking at are expensive because most sane people want to live there.

If you can find a remote job, start there: once you’re a remote worker, you can establish yourself at the job before you move. Once you’re confident that you like the job and aren’t going to get laid off out of nowhere, you won’t have to stress about paying rent while looking for a job in a new place.

Visit a city before committing, make sure it has the vibe you want. Coastal cities all have their upsides and downsides.

I moved to California from Texas with no job and about $300. Was supposed to stay with a friend's sister in San Diego until I found a job, but promptly got kicked out because apparently her husband cheated on her with a woman who looked like me. :| Luckily I had an aunt 100 miles north who took me in.

I didn't stay with her long though. OP, just keep in mind that you don't need to get an apartment of your own -- you can just rent a room for much cheaper. That's what I did for a while until I could finally afford a studio apartment.

In my experience if you're only finding one or two apartments in your price range out of a ton...

1. You can't afford to live there. Everything costs more. Sales tax, gas, groceries, water, all entertainment, etc

2. Those places you can afford probably don't exist or are cheap for a very good reason (bad area/property)

I suggest looking around closer to you or where you have a saftey net or support, then look in those areas. Research the city look for lgbtq events or clubs etc. I hope you find your little haven !

As you freely admit you have no money and seem to have no specific qualifications.

Even with those boxes checked I would never ever consider moving across country without a signed employment contract at the target location. The risks seem insane and completely outsized to me. But if you're a way, way more adventurous type than me, at the very least you'd need enough savings to keep you off the streets for a few months if you are planning to start job hunting only after moving. Anything less would just be stupid.

What's your work experience in? What are the goals for your career? What skills do you need for the career you want, are you actively working on developing them?

If you're not sure, it's a great time to consider what you're competent at or enjoy, and do a realistic search of jobs in that field and the qualifications to get them. Best time to start is yesterday. 2nd best time to start is today.

Also, if you have some money saved, consider taking a skill and making money yourself instead of working for a wage. Lots of entrepreneurial info out there and ideas for those willing to take the risk on themselves. Some fields have very low barriers to entry.. window washing, grass cutting, almost anything AI related right now, drop shipping, hell even a t-shirt printing business can be set up well for under $500

Apparently Bangor maine has a big outdoor backyard, is probably relatively cheaper than other places along the east coast and is supposedly pretty lbgtq friendly.

Although that is not south of Maryland. Nevemind.

I don't think you should move to a different country, as citizenship may not be easy nor cheap. It sounds like you are from the US? Southern Oregon, Northern California, Eastern Oregon or Eastern Washington are all good options for cheaper coast of living. I've heard of some dorm type living in Seattle, SF too probably. You should not move without a place to move to though and look for jobs in the area you want to move that you can get quickly (grocery/fast food/warehouse) or if possibly have a job ready when you get there. You might look into getting roommates as it would be cheaper than living on your own. Some people will rent out just a room pretty cheap, and set restrictions for when you can use the kitchen. You can do a lot with a toaster oven, microwave, and mini fridge though, space depending. Aside from that, plan your route and pack. If you are driving have places to stay (camp grounds are sometimes free or cheap, national or state forests especially). Plan where you can get showers and do laundry (either hotels, gyms, sometimes camp grounds, sometimes truck stops have showers, laundromats). Have some sort of plan and map where you can stop. There might be apps for people who van or car camp that might be useful.

If you're willing to look at Toronto, maybe consider Minneapolis St Paul, it's not that much further north than Toronto. I moved to Minnesota from Florida because I'm queer and I knew things were going to get worse in FL. Check out Queer Housing Exchange Minneapolis St Paul on Facebook to look for roommates, and make sure you have a few months of savings built up while you job search.

Why would you want to move to the west coast? I assume you mean Perth or Fremantle. It's so far from everything. East coast is much better. You've got Sydney and Melbourne and even Queensland. Tasmania is also nice if you don't mind some cold winters.

You like nature, and paddle boarding, and LGBT friendly spaces? Skip the West Coast, come live in the Twin Cities. It's really nice here, it's safe, has all the things you're looking for, and it's not unfathomably fucking expensive.

The only downside is that winters are cold. Bring a winter jacket.

As others commented, lining up a job is step 1 to any move. That will be be the hard part.

I moved from the US (MI) to France and then Spain, but am living with my parents while looking for jobs here, so a bit of a different situation regarding most of your questions, but I’ve helped some people move across the US so I have some experience there! If you have a car with a hitch, you can fairly cheaply rent a moving trailer from UHaul or something similar. That should apply to the US (and Canada I would think). Renting their vans tends to be quite expensive, and shipping is outrageous now, so that’s probably your best bet. Generally, if it will cost more to transport it then it would cost to replace it, it isn’t worth taking with you (this applies more towards shipping).

Haven’t been on the west coast of the US much, so I have no idea what or where to recommend for that, but I know it can be very expensive. I’ve heard Northern California can be relatively affordable, but no experience there. I doubt this was of much help, but I wish you the best in reaching a place where you’ll be happier!

About the dorm style living, it's very much a thing. It's all over the place where I'm living and I have 4 friends living in different ones right now.

All very open minded and kind people.

Job first. Move second. When you know there is a job definitely lined up.

Might be able to go into the mining industry, Perth and surrounds pretty good for that, if you want the isolation of the west coast.

Your current wages sound illegally low, unless you are a minor.