this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 187 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help...

Standard plan:

  • 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)

Premium plan:

  • 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
  • Ad Free!

Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)

  • Mouse acceleration toggle
  • 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
  • Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
  • AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
  • Cloud backup*

*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.

Edit: formatting

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks Satan

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago

This hurts to read.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?

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[–] [email protected] 137 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This is close enough to reality that I'm irritated.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago

I didn't believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake...

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[–] [email protected] 98 points 3 weeks ago

Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that's still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn't shit, it lasts forever anyways.

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 weeks ago

It's all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it's the new norm.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

One man's meme is another monster's inspiration

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

You can, but it's 10 cents a click!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just buy a second mouse. C'mon dude, it's like you're not even trying to pay!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

puts dollar near CD drive

it actually takes it

Holy shit.

I have a CD drive!

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a good thing that market is so saturated that there'd always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you're some sort of MMO mouse person.

That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don't need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's why they'll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

Hahaha, Windows, lol.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I'm sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Living in 2024, I'm not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that's taxes!

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra "click safety" package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. "Good" and "ethical" advertisers can get in touch with the "business communication" office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because "their ads are okay"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

idk I've been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn't much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can't stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can't take one more ad for that crypto exchange

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It is often fun choosing to read "clicks" as "dicks" due to how similar they look. Imagin' you getting 10,000's of dicks via LoL every month.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

10,000 dicks a month from lol is rookie numbers, honestly.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Vim users: *entirely unaffected*

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They won't even see the ad because they can't get out of Vim.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

How do I click an option when my clicks are already used up? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Tab over to it and hit Enter

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The image is of a Logitech MX master. But yes the meme is very HP coded.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

What will Premium Plus get for me?

img

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it's a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven't experienced anything that's particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I've had mine since 2004. I've replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It's still going strong.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

move those decimals over one.

Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Every now and then there'd be a duck hunt bird flying over your windows and it would stop turning only if clicked. This is accumulative, meaning you being AFK gives you two, three ducks flying over your desktop, up to the arbitrary limit of 255.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

I'd just get a mouse that doesn't have this bullshit before paying for this. I'll buy used if needed. I'm not subscribing to a fucking mouse.

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