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At the time, Carlson says, he was asleep in bed with his wife – and four dogs.
I have an alternate theory about those claw marks...
I watched that video, and had he just stuck to being suddenly awake and having claw marks I would have thought there was something odd. But he led with having four dogs in the bed, so when he said he had claw marks...dear lord, he's either trying too hard to play to some niche audience, or he's really that stupid. At least make the story sound plausible...we know you can lie, why didn't you just leave off some details here to sell it better.
Ever since he got kicked off Fox, he's been making the pivot to the hard right audience, which includes the narrative that they're in a spiritual war against the literal devil.
It's the same conspiracy-laden bullshit that Alex Jones pushes.
It's Jon Stewart's fault. Tucker never recovered from that jab about the bow tie.
And he never wore a bow tie after that. Lol.
If anything, Tucker needs another sit-down with Jon
Occam's Razor? Naw, it's gotta be Occam's Jewish Space Laser.
Cheating on his wife for sure
100%
How to explain away the signs of rough gay sex to your wife.
How to explain away the signs of rough ~~gay~~ beastial sex to your wife.
FTFY
Tucker Carlson and JD Vance had rough normal gay guy sex and he's getting ahead of any story and saying it was demon assault.
I can also take part in conspiracies
If this is true, what did he do to deserve this. This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. So I guess the real question is, what did he do to deserve this.
This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. Why would this happen if he DIDN'T deserve this. Clearly he lost favor with the good lord and has opened himself up to the devil to be possessed by a demon.
Anyone who follows Trump has sold their soul to Satan.
As someone who was raised in a very evangelical household: the (non)-answer is that it happened to him in order to tempt him or test him or some shit. If it happens to a non-god-fearing individual, it's deserved, otherwise it's God's plan all along. Because moving the goal posts is just way too easy.
The real answer is Tucker Carlson is either actually insane or hardcore grifting, but I'm probably preaching to the choir here going down that rabbit hole lol.
He's grifting. He's no snake-juggling meth-mouthed shitkicker, they're just part of his audience.
No you see he is like Job in the Bible!!! He's so righteous God is testing him with demons!!!!
-his fans probably
I guess Carlson's soul isn't worth enough to send a succubus. All he's worth is a backscratcher.
Hey, Christians who believe in demonic possession: How come it's only y'all getting possessed and not my heathen, atheist ass who literally invites the demons in?
Your atheist ass is inviting people in you say?
Only demons are invited in this atheist ass
And I suppose you require their genitals to be like donkeys and their spunk like that of stallions?
I’m not sure if this was a literal invitation, but I’ll poke my head out.
It depends on how you interpret scripture. I was raised in a “non-literalist” faith, and some of these beliefs have come to interpret references to “demons,” and what not, being misconstrued as mental illnesses. I believe Richard Dawkins coined the phrase “God of the Gaps” which is not too dissimilar to what is happening in this case.
So the non-faithful, along with the faithful, could still be afflicted, technically, however I’m fairly confident mental health treatment may be better for them over “driving out the demon” so to speak. Though some denominations would call it heresy for me to say that. Lmao.
As for Tucker… I’m skeptical he cares for the Word. He certainly doesn’t act as though he does, in my view.
This all obviously ridiculous but... I grew up with a family that 100% believed in spiritual warfare. My parents were more willing to believe my brother was possessed than to believe he needed psychiatric help. My Dad had the church elders pray over me when I had whooping cough, asking God to cast out the demon that had so obviously latched onto my 10 year old lungs. I regularly saw people at my church who would claim to have seen fantastical things.
Tucker is simply appealing to his base. The mass groups of people who truly believe they are warriors for Christ engaged in a life and death struggle for the soul of the whole world. There are thousands of them and they believe you and I as unbelievers are at best, unwittingly helping the enemy and at worst, willful vessels of the literal devil.
I wouldn't be shocked if Tucker Carlson 100% believed what he's saying. The groupthink in those circles is difficult to break out of.
I wouldn’t be shocked if Tucker Carlson 100% believed what he’s saying.
I would be very shocked. He's a cynical propagandist, not a true believer.
People are saying it's the dogs, but given that it's Tucker Carlson I think it's far more likely that he's just flat out lying.
Dogs will resist if someone tries to fuck them and they're not into it.
"I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs and mauled, physically mauled." ... "I have no idea what happened."
lol
This is the level of critical thinking that conservative pundits are exercising.
Too bad it didn't kill him
He’s such a cunt. Fuck that guy.
Sounds like he assaulted someone and that news is about to come out. He is preempting that.
Weirdo. Through and through.
You're telling me this is a real story like in a real news source?
JFC
It's probably your own demons Fucker. They've had enough of your bullshit.
I see he's taking a page from Alex Jones's bible.
Anyway, what are the chances that someone's going to come forward that Carlson assaulted them and they fought back? Just asking questions.
Jesus Buttfucking Christ these people are nuts.