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Start referring to her as your sexy Gorilla
This will probably end in disaster
DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE!
Rent a tuxedo and a limousine; tell her you're taking her out for a nice night, and do so - dinner at a nice restaurant with drinks and all that. Candles and shit. Before dessert comes, get down on one knee. Look her in the eyes and tell her how much she means to you - how you'll always love and cherish her. Reach into your pocket, and pull out a Venus. Maintain eye contact. Then pop the question.
Maybe he doesn't marry her, just shave 😂.
I'm picturing a man on one knee in a nice restaurant. The woman looks flustered. While maintaining eye contact, and in a serious tone, the man asks..."Will you please shave your snatch?"
Aaand at that point, she leaves and you never see her again 🤣.
Hell, I wouldn't be insulted, I almost never get insulted 😂, but people man... they take shit way way too seriously.
"M'lady, may I gently suggest you trim the hedges of your nethers?"
Serious answer:
I was the lady in this situation.
Just say you'd love it if she trimmed tight or shaved. She can always say no, you aren't attacking her, just expressing a preference. Same as if she said she'd love you to shave, right?
Yeah, I think just saying “I’d love it if you were trimmed/shaved rn” works for majority of women. As for me, I have neurodivergent tendencies and I like clear messages, so even a “can you shave” wouldn’t be offensive (to me).
Of course, what a question!
Buy her a small doll brush for her hairy bodyparts. Set up a daily brushing ritual by annoucing it by ringing a bell for maximum conditioning. Buy small pearls and ornaments, that you weave into the longest of her hairs on her legs and arms. Call her your Afghan Hound. Bark when you cone home. Whenever you watch TV and a Shaving ad runs, visibly, without looking at her, slowly increase the volume and decrease it as slowly when the ad is over. Be obvious. Never talk about it. Have always a big bowl of Kiwis at the dinnertable, that you all shave in her present and be very vocal about how it is very important for you. Put hair in every second dish and make it a constant topic of discussions. Do so at every restaurant visit too. Collect every clog of hair from every drain at home and store it visibly in big masonjars on shelves above the doorframes and label them (with an electronic labelmachine) all with her name. Pay for her and your therapy two years later.
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Best advice yet 🤣🤣🤣.
Tell her the neighborhood is holding a competition of lushest carpet, and you need to take some pictures.
Forge a letter from the HOA issuing a citation for an improperly kept "private front lawn".
Tell her you have developed a new kink, waxing Dom.
Buy her a thong bikini and tell her you have entered her into the Ms. Rec Center competition in two days time.
Honey, if I ever go bald would you donate some of those pussy hairs for the top of my head?
They're so long and luxurious
Intentionally infect yourself with lice.
Intentionally infect yourself with ~~lice~~crabs.
Play "Fortunate Son" and/or Huey helicopter noises every time you go down.
Welcome to the Jungle
Get a miniature machete like the ones they use in the films to cut vines etc. when trying to get through a jungle and bring it with you when you are going down on her.
Bonus points if you get a jungle outfit like nigel thornberry.
like nigel thornberry
Smashing
Compliment her on her luxurious and erotic moostash.
While playing 70s porn music
Buy her a spa day or coupon with a massage or something nice that she likes and include the hair removal option as extra.
Once done make sure you let her know how much you liked the shaved areas. Hopefully she will catch on and continue doing it herself. Otherwise repeat the process. There are even some places where you can buy monthly subscriptions she can go to.
Avoid confronting her on this. Not worth it and you could hurt her feelings. Of course it depends on your relationship with her. If both of you feel comfortable talking and discussing such topics then go ahead.
No, better not try to communicate with your partner at all. Vague, coded messages at an absolute maximum.
lmfao my thoughts too. This is so easy just mention you'd like to try it
Actually actionable advise here lol
Dude, just talk to her. Not saying there's anything wrong with treating her to a spa day but come on...
Buy her a hedge trimmer for christmas
Just grow out a nice thick beard and go down on her until she turns the tables on you.
This is my glorious beard, at least 3 weeks old (i don't quite remember)
Is it thick enough?
I'd give it another 6 months or so...
Sneeze every time you go down
“You know how I like things to stay smooth between us?”
Ask her if she'd like a bigger brush ... or a lawnmower
Baby, I feel like I been cat-grooming a fuckin Snatchsquatch. I got hot towels, a basin of hot water, clippers and a razor. Spread em. I'm killing that fuckin thing.
I don't like shaven. I love a nice mouthful of hair.
Next time you go down on her, start by pulling out some floss.
I think clear communication is probably best tbh. Especially if you are also willing to shave too. I'm a guy and I also shave, found it extremely helpful for sports, sex, and hygiene. Lots more airflow too.
Do a shaving party xD
Buy a pair of brown bell bottoms and an orange shirt. Set a roleplay night. Go dress away from her. Scream while you enter the room "oh, yeah, lets boogie tonight!"
Rub it and say "Argh! Nice leg beard!"
Wow, I just watched this documentary about bears, you have so much incommon ☺️.
braid it. Or buy her a very tiny jar of hair gel, labeled for her body parts.
Just start pulling it every chance you get. Just reach right in and grab it. She will shave just to get you to stop or leave you :/
Shave your parts and buy a ghastly merkin for sexy times. Tell her you only wear it to reduce the chaffing. Then, bust out a gnarly fake beard and ask if she wants oral.