this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.

Are you sure you want this?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

🎶 let's get it on... 🎶

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Trump can rub two hamburgers together.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wanna see them both on hot ones

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Trump will melt by the 4th bottle

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Oops! All Da Bomb

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Translation for our East Asian friends:

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Was it tasty at least?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

The Sleepy Joe vote!