this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2024
779 points (92.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26602 readers
3626 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 194 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I'm gullible as hell I showed this to my gf super excitedly

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Chin up, now you know she really loves ya

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

She might have dumped them immediately, you don't know

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I actually shit his pants for him and then gave him a forceful blumpkin, he cried after.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Cried with joy about how much he loves you?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well I asked ChatGPT if that is true. It's so cool that ChatGPT isn't allowed to tell me how stupid that question is

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Don't feel bad. I once showed my then-girlfriend news of a Firefly renewal on April 1st.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You can't take the sky from me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Isn't Halloween always on 31 October? How's this possible?

[–] [email protected] 201 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's why it's so scary 😱

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

The Halloween is inside the calendar!!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

Did you know that Christmas and Halloween are the same day? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I just had to explain this to my coworker...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you for asking because I had no idea what's wrong with this post until I reached your comment.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 weeks ago

You can't just move holidays. Who do you think you are, the President of Venezuela?

[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This looks like an email my boomer dad would forward to everyone he knows.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Fwd: re: re: re: re: Operation Candyman O(s)bama

check your candy for fentanyl this year because Obama hates white kids!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thank god that new year is not on friday 13th.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Not with that attitude it isn't.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago

Me: a complete dumbass.

"I could swear it happened once when I was a kid"

"...Wait a second..."

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Unfortunately this won't happen until October 31st 2600. Starting on March 1st in the year 2600, the Julian calendar (popular in centuries past, and still used in a few places) will differ by 18 days from the Gregorian calendar (the current worldwide standard calendar).

It happens that October 31st in the year 2600 lands on a Friday, and so the Julian October 13th, which lands on that same day, is also a Friday.

There may be a sooner Friday the 13th that lands on Halloween, if you know of other obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars. I don't know enough about those to check.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

I love it when people over analyze shitposts. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's also always either 5, 6 or 11 years (or 7 in very rare cases, when you're on both sides of a skipped leap year like 1900 or 2100) between "day X falls on day of the week Y" events unless you're talking about February 29.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

I remember a friend of mine showing us this image many years ago all excited. To this day he's mocked for it

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

feels like this would go viral on Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

If you put that in the mirror it's kinda true, except that it's also on a Thursday this year haha

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Sorry, I only believe in The Robot Devil from Futurama.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Huh? When are you guys celebrating Halloween? The only Friday 13ths in 2024 are in September and December.

Also I thought the calendar cycles every 400 years. So if Fri 13th Oct 2024 exists, which it doesn't, then Fri 13th Oct 1624 and 2424 also, er, don't exist.

♫ In the year 2424, if trolls are still alive... ♫

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes. Since Halloween is the last day of October, the 31st, it's kinda never on the 13th. So yeah, it's a shitpost.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Dang it I already forwarded this to my church group o well.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Im more scared for Nov. 5th TBH.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Oh, you don't like bonfire night? Fireworks too loud? /s

Edit: Seriously, good luck to you guys - I'll be watching nervously from the UK (where our election was on 4th July.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

It took your edit to realise they weren't talking about bonfire night.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

I can't believe it actually started to compute this in my head. C'mon coffee, get to work.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

My self esteam decreased drastically after realising

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Fuck it. I wanna suck a dick before everything goes tit's up.

Like a clean and kinda cute one though. Non dick type of dick ya kmow

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

How bendy are you?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Even scarier when you realize Friday the 13th is on a Sunday.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

This makes me feel like I did the first time I saw a full blood moon. Amused but ultimately disappointed that the world didn't end.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why did this have to pass 666 up votes,

Could've been left at 666 updates and this post would be even better

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Well if we’re going through another doomsday scenario then hopefully this one puts us out of our misery this time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

When you believe in things that you don't understand then you suffer.

Superstition ain't the way

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

this is why I'm a computer denialist

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They're just rock sprites trapped and tricked into doing math

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I call it sand that's been tortured so much they started doing math.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Why would computers need a dentist?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›