this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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all 45 comments
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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm in a filthy gas station bathroom stall right now. I feel like that's a pretty good excuse.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You're in a filthy gas station bathroom, relaxed and comfortable enough to be browsing memes on your phone

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Doesn't mean I wanna put my hands on the ground lol.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Ok but I gotta finish poppin' first

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I just assume everyone on Lemmy is also on the can. It's anyone not??

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

If by 'can' you mean 'place where shit goes' and by 'place where shit goes' you mean 'work', then yes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Currently on the toilet, having a pre-workout poop. It feels like Lemmy is watching me.

I was going to just do cardio, but I guess I'll add 20 push-ups at the end... I'm now too scared not to

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

pop pop goes the weasel, the weasel pop goes the weasel cuz the weasel goes pop

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Okay fine, geez. Everybody trying to get me working out.

There.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And cut down on the pancakes

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Or don’t and just do

~100 calories for a medium pancake

~0.36 calories per pushup(all of this is googled and blindly trusted)

=277 pushups per pancake.

Totally worth it!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You know what?

I’ll compromise. Only 10 pushups now, but I’ll do another 10 every hour for the rest of the day. Deal???

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You caught me just as I was getting ready to workout. So I tacked on 30 push-ups to the end of my 30 mins of cardio. I hope you're happy, cause I'm exhausted

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Glad to help! Lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I layed 30 CAT5e cables today, all at different locations, 450m of cable total... you really think I'm gonna get out of my sofa for pushups?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Uhh yeah? Don’t you see the picture? The buff doge would like you to…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Haha good one, great meme.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I'm using the bathroom right now, have only gotten 3 hours of sleep at most, and am browsing Lemmy so that I don't get a panic attack over potentially not having my medication for two weeks...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I did twenty half pushups. I had to get out of bed and now my heart beats like it's freaking alive. I hope you are satisfied.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Two slipped discs. Not happening.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But I already worked out today and my arms hurt 😵 you want me to over do it???

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I did 21 cause you can't tell me what to do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Actually I sprained my pec minor sorry

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Too drunk for this shit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Too crippled to get on the ground. Doctor’s note and everything.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Sign up for this - great cause and you feel amazing afterwards! https://www.thepushupchallenge.com.au/

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Damn, I guess it's only fair

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

k done now what

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No can do. My left arm is broke.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Excuses! Your right arm is perfectly fine

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

I'm a lefty. That was my strong arm 💪

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I'm sick but I will do it when I recover. Need to get started with exercise again.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I'm in a car my gamer

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I dont take orders from people who wear crosses, soeey doge

[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago

I'm lazy. Should be a good excuse.