Too late
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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maybe pocket baby
FYI: Defibrillators don't start the heart, they stop it.
The heart doesn't stop in many heart attacks. Instead it just beats erratically and in a way that doesn't pump blood well. Shocking the heart to stop it (what a defib does) causes the nerve cells to "reboot" and start beating regularly again.
Shocking a victim who's heart has stopped is useless and automatic defibrillators won't go off until they've detected the arrhythmia.
It's essentially the "have you tried turning it off and back on again" of cardiology.
When I was a teenager my computer survived years of percussive maintenance. All I'm saying is, have doctors tried beating the shit out of their patients?
Mind blown! 🤯
Hearty restarty
I blame House MD for this common misconception
Yes, thank you, I'm glad you mentioned it here, it doesn't happen often enough. I mean, it's even in the name, right? Defibrillator gets rid of fibrillation - the erratic beating!
And hippos aren't buoyant.
I am literally reading this on my squatty potty (if you don't have one - BUY ONE)
I call noodles, long ass rice.
Gun = Rootie Tootie Point and Shootie
Pointy Shootie
Beans = Farty Starties
Because they give you gas (pooty booty).
And if they went bad, you get booty shooty (diarrhea).
Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot.
can't believe they left out cruise missile: zoomy boomy
Speedo = Scrotie Totey
Brazilian Waxing = Shiny Giny
The lol per pixel ratio of this meme was significantly above the mean
Pooper scooper -> Poopy Scoopy
Erectile Dysfunction = Teenie Weenie
It's a travesty that they aren't called "Fuzzy Buzzies"
Perhaps my favorite meme ever
I am completely on board with this and suggest we amend all the dictionaries immediately.
Well it's that or the Action Comics method.
Alliteration for everyone!
I can only read this in Paul McCartney’s voice…
Huh, I thought defibrillators were for arrhythmias, but it's also for cardiac arrest.
It should be called Hearty Stoppy. That's what they do. Stop your heart so it can reboot in safe mode.
Yup, and it fucking sucks (better than dying though) to have one used on you.
...now I want to try it. Which is probably unwise.
Call of the void.
Yeah, id probably join you.
Tractor trailers = big rigs.
Surely Stamps should be called Lickie-Stickie-Posties.
Real object names.
glowy hoppy
Prison Snitch = Snitchie Bitchies get the Stitchies