I think it's easy to point how this is pretty off in some ways, but if you think of it as being aimed at someone with no coffee knowledge, I think it's not a bad overview of how that person is likely to experience those types of drinks.
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2024
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as someone who knows fuck all about coffee i can confirm this is how i see coffee. The one thing i know is that i like milky carmel cappuccinos:3
Here's a quick tidbit I always have in the back of my mind:
If it's an Italian name, it's espresso-based and if it's a French name, it's coffee-based.
Italian coffee, for example:
Americano - Espresso and water
Latte - Espresso and regular milk
Cappuccino - Espresso and steamed milk
Breve - Espresso and steamed half-and-half
French coffee, for example:
Café - Plain coffee, sometimes called Café Noir
Café au Lait - Coffee and regular milk
Café Cremé - Coffee and cream (or sometimes half-and-half)
Café Americano - Coffee and water, it's the French version of the Italian style.
What's the difference between coffee and espresso? Coffee is brewed and steeped. Espresso is created by forcing water through very, very densely-packed coffee grounds using high pressure. Coffee is typically enjoyed in cups and espresso is typically consumed in "shots" because of the strong flavor.
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Wow, I thought I was the only person who didn’t know anything about coffee!
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If I ask for a latte, and you give me a coffee with milk, I’m gonna be upset. There’s a big difference between steamed milk and just milk.
I ordered an almond joy latte and went back in asking for another drink cause it was horrible.
Turns out it was a coffee not a drink. I hadn't had coffee in so long I couldn't identify the lack of steamed milk. 🫤
I did get it remade as a latte and it was amazing.
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Hmm, I don't think I'd want to buy coffee from this place
Was going to say, if my coffee shop doesn’t know the difference between coffee and an espresso, I’m not buying a coffee from them.
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Exactly ... it's the kind of place with one cheap coffee machine that buys the cheapest ground bulk coffee they can find and probably spike the grounds with a bit of salt to make it palpable for their regular customers who all don't care about their coffee because they've been visiting the same place for over 20 years.
Half of this are wrong though
Excuse me, but I have had a lot of tea and I can confirm that it is not coffee.
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Right, a flat white is definitely not white.
A latte is also a white coffee, and most baristas are going to think you want an americano with milk.
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I know everyone is here for the same thing, and we've all been correcting this image since it showed up five years ago, but an Americano is not a black coffee.
It is however, coffee that is black, but if I ordered one and got the other, I'd know somethings up.
Also, I really don't know why people drink americano. To me they just taste like cigarettes, but I'm currently drinking chicory so my opinion is moot.
By "a black coffee", do you mean drip/filter coffee? Because a caffe lungo is also a black coffee, for example
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~~caramalized onions~~ warm onions
~~bread~~ flour with water
~~tuna~~ fish
~~salmon~~ fish
~~sword~~fish
~~eel~~ fish
~~octopus~~ fish
~~chicken~~ fish
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For anyone that sees espresso and thinks express, as in something fast, it's actually meant to be pressed, as it's an Italian term. So that's hot water that went through pressed coffee powder.
So that's hot water that went through pressed coffee powder.
The "pressed" doesn't refer to the coffee powder but to the water: the water is pressed through the coffee grounds using high pressure (around 9 bars or so).
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I prefer the Spanish names.
Americano - half coffee half water.
Solo - just coffee.
Cortado - coffee with a "cut" of milk.
Cafe con leche - half coffee half milk.
Leche manchada - milk "dirtied" with a dash of coffee.
Then expresso and all the other bullshit.
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For all you coffee snobs hear me this!
Affogato!
Get a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Pour a shot of espresso over it. Heaven!!
I don't like coffee but I think this could be the gateway drug.
You get the warm bitter espresso then the cool sweet vanilla icecream. You need to eat it quick while it melts then drink it when it combines into a coolish sweet coffee thing.
Its fantastic and so simple.
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But an espresso is strong coffee and not neccessarily miniature...
A more apt description would be "Concentrated Coffee" lol
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This is gonna make a lot of Europeans mad.
Source : am french. I love me some Americano, but the default here is the espresso. You can also get a "long espresso" which is basically a diluted espresso, and is still not the same as an Americano (and this is where my coffee knowledge stops, so I'm not sure what the differences are exactly). I also have some Italian family and they would probably disown me if I said that the Americano is the "default" black coffee
I thought flat white and latte were synonyms and they both meant milky coffee. Now I'm confused, so it's just the foam?
Flat white is 2 espresso shots and equal parts steamed milk. A Latte is more steamed milk (idk the exact ratio if there is one), most places just fill up whatever latte cup they have which should be bigger than the flat white cup, and has a small amount of head/foam.
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If I order an Americano and you serve me a filter black coffee, I swear ...
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~~caffeine in suppository form~~ ass coffee
Boofaccino
~~Espresso~~ concentrated coffee
Quality shitpost.
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