Ask Lemmy

My story is kinda cool. TLDR: she stole my cat.

We lived in the same street, but other than the occasional nod when passing by each other, never really talked. I always thought she was cute, though. Oh, and she was married to a typical abusive guy.

One day my cat escaped, and after a week of searching, I almost gave up. Then one day she knocked on my door and asked if that cat was mine, because she thought she was a stray, and took her in. She gave her back, apologized, and that was it. But that cat would always find a way to go back to her place, and we kind of agreed to let her have 2 homes. Still didn't talk too much or anything.

Years passed, and she finally had enough of her husband, got a divorce, and moved out. Came to ask if she could take the cat with her, and I said that's ok, she barely came to my place anymore anyway.

More time passed, we kept a little in touch, but still didn't really talk to each other. And then I decided to have a barbecue at home for my birthday... I invited mostly people from work, but then thought: "it would be cool to invite her". And so I did. We talked, and talked, and when we realized, it was already 10 pm (barbecue was supposed to be from noon to sunset). She went home, the next day I invited her out, and long story short, we've been together for almost 5 years, living together for 3 and a half years, have 6 cats, and our first son is about to be born.

At risk of repeating an answer to a similar question some weeks or months ago:

My wife and I met on a porn site. We caught feelings and met IRL and it was actually pretty great.

Well, it was not exactly porn but more a popular “adult fanfiction” (almost the same thing) site where we went from cooperative creative writing to something much more intimate. I flew out to meet her and now we’ve been married for about a decade.

I still say we met because of porn. My first message to her contained a detailed, descriptive, as unceremonious as it was unambiguous list of preferences but it seems to be working out so far.

OKCupid. And given what I hear about the state of dating apps today, it feels like we caught the last chopper out of 'Nam.

Met on irc a hundred years ago. Moved to a different state to be together. Got married, had kids, still together livin' the dream. No regerts. Ragerts. Whatever.

She was dating my ex girlfriend. They split. My ex recommended she ask me out because she thought we might be a good fit. It's been 14 years.

Having a previous significant partner that I split with on good terms has always been a great strategy for getting a new partner.

In 2017 I was coming out as transgender and looking for a job. Got an interview as head evening manager at a grocery store. Go in for the interview and am not sure if I'm out yet, but the store manager figured it out and was really open and said they had 2 trans people working there already, so I'm like fuck it, get the job and am out.

One of the other trans people is my right hand person like 2-3 days/week, store manager tries to enthusiastically but awkwardly introduce us.

Over the next couple of weeks everything goes to shit in the store; manager is fired, lot's of employees leave, severely understaffed, etc. I'm working like 80 hour weeks and every evening is a battle, and through commiseration and tough days a bond forms between me and the other person. Start meeting every time I have a day off and start dating like 6 weeks after we first meet, and 6 weeks after that we move in together.

Been together almost 7 years, now. Worked together for the first 3ish.

Made a friend in Final Fantasy XIV, which then blossomed into more. She moved across the country to be with me. We are one of those super-affectionate-joined-at-the-hip couples.

She sat in front of me in college English

Guy sitting next to her was trying so hard to understand FFXIV to get in her pants and I just slid in with a "X is actually the best don't you even" when she said VII was the best FF

The teacher got involved with our arguments a few weeks later and added in that VI is actually the best, which was fun

She got me to start playing FFXIV, 5 years later COVID happened 1 week before our wedding so we broke up for a year, then got back together and got married in Vegas cuz it was at least open

Still play FFXIV together (DT is terrible though so I might not anymore), still cannot agree on which FF is the best. Though my argument has shifted to a tie between VI & X

I met her at my university’s Brony club. I sat next to her because she had a sketchbook open. I brought out my own sketchbook and struck up a conversation.

We had a two-year courtship and have been married for 6 years now.

I've been happily married for six years, and we met on a dating app. (OKCupid.)

It was my first time using such a thing, I was in my late 30s and mildly curious about those apps the Kids These Days seem to like. I installed one and was basically daring the silly thing to work. I figured if I was going to try that sort of thing, I was going to do it in a very practical way. I made sure everything about me I thought might be a red flag for someone out there was featured prominently in my profile:

• Here's exactly where I am politically, religiously, etc., my real age, and my firm disinterest in parenthood.
• Here's my bisexuality but also my monogamousness, yes those two things can go together.
• Here's the neighborhood I live in (not the nearest fashionable one.)
• Here are a bunch of weird hobbies and pursuits of mine.
• Here are social and political things about which I'm a vocal activist.
• Here's some of the art, comedy, and other creative stuff I do, and a bit of the weirder end of my sense of humor.
• Here's the fact that my username there was also the one I've used everywhere online for decades (here included) and I've had a pretty active online presence since there's been such a thing, so I'm fairly searchable before you even say hello.
• Here are photos of me I quite like but also some I think I look particularly fat/old/unflattered in, and ones that clearly show off certain things I like to do with my personal style (for example, I'm a cis masculine-presenting guy who wears nail polish.)

In addition to filling the hell out of my profile with all this, I had a lot of fun with the app's survey questions and generally gave really involved answers.

My attitude on the app was one of blatant honesty. I'd heard so many horror stories about people meeting on dating apps and the person turning out to be nothing like their profile, look nothing like their photo, etc. to the point of false advertising, and I really failed to understand the logic behind that; why lie to someone from the start, as if they won't actually realize you lied to them when they meet you?

Another important factor for me was that when I got on the app I was just getting back into dating, having recently taken a long time to work on myself and recover from a toxic and abusive relationship. Among other crappy things, my former abuser had spent the duration of our time together disapproving of and trying to force me to change fundamental things about myself in ways that caused me a lot of long-term harm and I was not interested in going through that sort of thing again. I'd rather someone who doesn't like thing X about me would see that thing on my profile right up front and so choose not engage with me to begin with, rather than have them get interested but find out that deal-breaker thing about me later and be disappointed. I came at it from the angle of saying "hey, I'm here, this is what I'm like, and here's a bunch of stuff about me you might not like." I wasn't necessarily trying to warn people off, but I wanted to see if anyone out there would see all those things about me and still potentially like me.

Long story long, it worked. I got messaged by someone who saw my profile and liked it, I liked hers, and we really clicked from the start. (Our first date was meant to be a quick cup of tea at a cafe, and ended up being many hours of walking and talking around town.) We totally fell for one another, dated, moved in together, got married, and six years later are still ridiculously happy. She is literally my favorite person in the entire world. Her weird and my weird mesh together so perfectly, and our relationship has always been based on complete honesty and open communication and sharing. We've seen and supported each other through the highest highs, lowest lows, and everything in between. It's the healthiest, happiest, and closest romance, friendship, and personal relationship of any kind I've ever had, and every day we spend together is better than the last. Among a lot of people who know us we're that obnoxiously-cute couple. We even have podcasts and other creative projects together nowadays, it's so goddamn gross. 🥰

You'll never believe me, Runescape when I was 12

Long time ago i was an actor and a cook at a medieval market. it was Beltane and my best friend said "I'll get you a wife tonight". It didn't work, and she was very upset about it. I had some sausages on the fire when some girls walked past, and i cried out loud "i'm giving a sausage in a bun for a virgin, anyone interested?. One girl was interested, but very annoying, but her friend was cute. So now i'm married with two children with her.