Ask Lemmy

If you feel like you don't need your medication anymore, that means the medication is working, and doing what it was prescribed to do.

You get a bigger raise by just getting a new job.

And…

HR is there to protect the company, not you.

Your grandparents/parents had a whole life before you. Loves, wishes, likes, dislikes. You can ask them about literally any topic in the world and they will probably be happy to talk to you about it. Where was their first holiday? What did they watch on TV, who was their hero, what job did they actually want to do.

One day they will be gone before you if life goes the natural way and it will be too late to ask and you may regret not taking a moment for a chat.

If you feel like you are walking on eggshells every day with your partner you are at best with the wrong person. More likely you are being abused. No, they will not improve. You can try any number of strategies for conflict resolution but the horrors will persist.

That I am simply not greedy enough, ruthless enough, or duplicitous enough to be my own boss, much less the boss of anyone else.

Before you share unasked for information with someone consider these two points:

1. Is this a teachable moment?
2. Does this person want to be taught?

If the answer is No to either one or both, keep to yourself.

In related news: Sometimes people want to vent, sometimes they want solutions. If you don’t know which one is needed it’s okay to ask!

Obviously this depends on where you live and what job you want, but I learned that getting a job is less about "having skills" and more about marketing yourself. Optimizing your CV. Bragging about your work on LinkedIn. Writing a cover letter with the key words they're looking for.

It's all very stupid, but it matters a lot to companies.

That just because someone treats you better than you’ve ever been treated before, does NOT mean that they are treating you WELL.

If you were bullied or abused as a kid, do some actual reading about what’s normal and healthy, and get out of a situation immediately if there are any even slightly concerning signs. No second chances, no guilt, no self blame, just go.

The value of a consistent circadian rhythm.

Relationships aren't like goulash. They don't reheat well. What caused the first breakup will likely cause another.

That if you're happier alone, you should stay that way.

Backups are important. Having your OS die 2 days before a deadline isn't fun.

When the Dr says wait 72 hours before drinking alcohol after taking the anti biotics give it a week at least, it's just not worth it.

It took me years of reading, talking, and thinking to break religious childhood indoctrination. Being able to let go of a fear of hell was a big step near the end I think.

Don't go to a foreign country without travel insurance. I almost died and was threatened with arrest for being unable to pay the hospital bill.

The Public Defender doesn't give a shit about you.

Never stick your dick in crazy. The sex is great but it's absolutely not worth the drama. That being said ... it was a fun lesson to learn!

If an ex calls you, out of the blue, for no readily apparent reason, it's solely to take that knife they already jammed in your back and give it a few more good, hard, twists.

You can't convince someone to love you. It either is there or it's not. They either like you or they don't. It doesn't matter how much you work it or angle yourself it's not there, and you need to move on.

Movies will convince you that you just need to try another way, be romantic. They're wrong. It makes you come off as desperate and weird. In real life you can tell them you have feelings, but a no is a no, and it means move on.

Despite how you feel and what experts and friends tell you, you might be seriously struggling with mental health. One stiff breeze and the stack of cards comes tumbling down.

"Don't buy this early access title unless you're happy with the current state of it"

I'll just link my Steam review. Fuck Take Two Interactive.

Everything?

Unfortunately, no one seems to learn from other people's mistakes, only their own.

I've had to make so many mistakes....

When you close a bank account, make sure you print out all of your statements first. They'll keep your records, but have no obligation to give you those records when you stop holding an account there.

When I had to dispute a debt with a collector, I tried going to the bank and they wanted $8 per monthly statement. I knew I had made the payment but wasn't sure when because it was years prior, and could easily have spent more on those statements than the debt was for. Luckily the debt originator found proof of payment before it went any further, but lesson learned.

I learned not to say things about people behind their back, that you'd not be prepared to say to their face, aged 14.

Cost me a black eye & split lip, also some pride. Valuable lesson though that stuck with me to this day over 2 decades later.

Knoble, sorry for calling you Knobless.

If you don't feel it, don't do it. Some injuries don't heal right, and many of the hobbies I enjoy have a pretty damned high risk factor. Almost every single time I've had a serious injury, that little voice was telling me "This one might not end well", and I went for it anyway.

I could have walked away, called it a day, and come back another time. It wasn't a contest, I was just out filming a few tricks for my "You're turning 40 and still doing it" video. Didn't stretch, didn't warm up, and my over enthusiastic filmer was all "Try this, do that". Ended up collapsing my knee and fully tearing my MCL.

Between that and a few neck and back fractures over the years, my mobility and flexibility are pretty well shot. There are things I just can't do anymore.

Sure I still skate, and am amazed just how much I can still get away with, but now every minute on the board includes a constant "Is this safe? Is this worth it?" chant.

Don't drink alcohol with a mood disorder, It might seem ok for a while, but it's totally not.

Haven't learned yet, and still struggling with it but if someone asks if you are OK, don't go for the default awnser, if anything say idk.

That and asking for help, I been in the bottom of the barrel one too many times just because I din't ask for a hand early on.

Definitely don't fill your pillow with cement.

Don't get addicted.

And you'll never feel like an addict right up until the point where you are.

You don't need to want to be alive to want to be not miserable