this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Risa

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Star Trek memes and shitposts

Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 years ago (3 children)

John Deere™ Tractor Beam

No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When they're broken, it's easier to just fire them out as projectiles.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago

Eject the ~~Warp Core~~ Tractor Beam -Shaxs

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Nothing beams like a Deere

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

data turns around
"captain, did I execute humour successfully?"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

(I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard's dumbfounded face too much)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Captain's Log. Stardate 23170.6
I have growing concerns about commander data's new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge's beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

He looks more like he is trying to puzzle out a confusing problem in his head.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Indeed, number one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

The closer your pelvis is to someone's face, the more leadership they get. That's what they taught at the Academy and that's good enough for my pelvis.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's perfect!

I've wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard "engage the tractor beam".

Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn't progressed that much since then anyway.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to "jamming the radar".

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

This is beautiful ... this is what Risa is all about

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And don't get me started on voice commands.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn't even know I had.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process "getting a green card" on account of the new ID badge's color.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well, they can't all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I unfortunately can't change who I am.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Nothing unfortunate about it.

You. We like you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Technically correct

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I said "argh" out loud, which means this is is perfect

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I wholeheartedly support this goal

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Lol, thank you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

We've gone back in time to season 2!